Category: faith

Be Dissolved In The Liquid Son

On By MiCoIn changes, courage, darkness, faith, fear, god, hope, light, love, love lost, love poetry, pain, peace, poetry, sadness, spirit, sweetness6 Comments

Imposters by fate but still

Miracles at birth.

 

Holed up in falsities

Missing the point.

 

Unsettled souls reap only what

They sow, no gifts are given or received.

 

No promises kept, no dreams fulfilled.

Maybe next time, but next time never comes.

 

It is the same ending, over and over and over.

A sadness steeped in familiarity,

 

Seduction for its own sake

The only prize.

 

It is a shallow, stagnate prize

But the only reward there is.

 

It is time to break this spell of soullessness and

Open to the pain of your deluded being.

 

Absorb it, take it in and by doing so defuse

Its dark energy.

 

Deny its claim on you,

Step away from its hold and

 

Watch, watch as it shrinks

And fades.

 

Watch it be consumed by the light,

And dissolved in the liquid love of the Son.

 

Watch it be taken from you

To hurt you no more.

 

Awaken and feel the light and goodness

Of who God made you to be.

 

It is there, already in you, see it for yourself

And when you do…

 

There will be darkness no more.

 

God’s Space

On By MiCoIn changes, darkness, dreams, earth, faith, god, hope, light, love, peace, poetry, sweetness4 Comments

 

The night sky displays

A sea of stars that are

Lights to my soul,

Pinpoints of hope in the darkness.

 

It is a sweet darkness,

A still darkness, in the arms of God.

 

He is holding his creation close to his heart but

Giving it space to grow and spread its promise of love’s light.

 

The confluence of channels of prayer, the gathering of oms has the power to

Open the sails of change.

 

Sails that steer ships with hulls full of enlightened souls

Through the darkness of God’s space

 

Populating the emptiness between the stars

And the heart of the Creator.

 

It is though us that His word becomes

And His darkness is empty no more.

3:00 am, Blurry Eyed, Movie Watching, Can’t Sleep, Heart Ramblings.

On By MiCoIn changes, darkness, faith, fear, god, heartbreak, hope, love, love lost, love poetry, pain, poetry, sadness, sweetness, Uncategorized13 Comments

I’m watching a wonderful movie, one I have seen many times but

not for a long time.   “Pretty Woman” so incredibly romantic and sweet but misleading, a modern continuation of the fairytale.  Impossible and at the same time – beautiful.

 

I grew up believing that love and romance could really be like it is in the movies,

 

That out there somewhere I would find a man who would love me unconditionally.  But more importantly, one who would not only love me but like me… want me to be happy, want me, period.

 

Maybe I tried too hard, maybe I shouldn’t have put him and his needs and wants before mine,

Maybe, maybe, maybe…. I’m tired of trying to figure it all out, tired of feeling not good enough,

not good enough for him, whoever that him may be and then, after all is said and done, hear from other people how highly he thinks of me.  Why haven’t any of them treated me that way, why wait until I am gone to say it.

 

I can’t believe I’m crying over “Pretty Woman” but I am.

 

What does that mean….

 

I’m 61 years old, I’m not an idealistic girl, I know what and how life is.

 

It is hard, people are people, hearts are hearts, pain and love is pain and love… but why, why does it all have to be so hard, why can’t I find one who can share the dream, not perfect but deep, love at its best, when it matters most.

 

Love like that is almost sad it is so deep, so close to not being, so strong and overwhelming to be uncomfortable, uncomfortable because it is so precarious, so fleeting, so impermanent but eternal at the same time.  We spend so much time on the wrong things, the job, car, house, status, impressing people to get where we want to be. But I don’t care about any of that…

 

I just want to be in his arms, his, the one who is capable of loving.

 

I so want to hold him, to wrap myself around him, feel his arms around me, his mouth on mine,  his soul release into my body, his life essence mingle with mine, is it so much to ask for, too much for him to handle, I know… I need to go back to bed .  Too much for me to handle right now too….

 

Pretty woman is waiting for her knight on the white horse.

 

I told him what he could do with his horse, but I was wrong, he never had one, ever …

Blessings of the Night

On By MiCoIn earth, faith, growing, hope, light, nature, peace, poetry1 Comment

The meadow at night is

Transformed by dew and darkness.

Cool air, freshens the heat

Stressed life.

Evening creatures awaken.

Their scurrying making busy the darkness.

Shyness slips from the forest

To the freedom of the clearing.

Always watchful, fearful

Poised to run.

A canopy of stars and sky rolls

From horizon to horizon, sealing in the breath of night.

The dust of day, washed away by night’s dew,

Settles between the blades, taking its place in the soil of life,

And the landscape sparkles with diamonds in the rising morning mist.

Refreshed by the blessings of the night,

Ready to begin again.

(re-post from 2/15)

MC

Inner Stillness in Predawn Darkness

On By MiCoIn Buddhism Meditation space, darkness, dreams, earth, faith, fear, god, heartbreak, hope, light, love, love lost, love poetry, nature, pain, peace, poetry, sadness, spirit, suffereing, sweetness7 Comments

There is inner stillness in the predawn darkness as

The forest begins to stir around me.

 

They seem to notice my presence

“Someone is among us”, they mummer.

 

As I sit in silence and wait,

The Eastern sky begins to lighten and

 

The earth responds with movement,

Air movement, a stirring, ever so slight and gentle,

 

More sensed than felt.

I continue to sit in silence and wait.

 

At last I can feel them coming closer, one by one.

Not in outer distance but in inner peace.

 

As they circle me I can feel them saying “Welcome,

We were wondering when you would come”.

 

“We are drawing closer to protect you,

We sense your weakness; we give you our collective strength.

 

Take us as we are as we you, you must know by now that

Your heart is not alone here and never has been”.

 

They bring such wisdom in their silence.

Such kindness without motion or audible voice

 

But a voice nonetheless, a voice that is felt with the soul

Not heard with the ears.

 

A voice that is eons old, no, older than that:

A voice that has existed since the beginning of time.

 

Since the time before manifestation.

Their voice speaks to me in the sweet darkness of the woods

 

Telling me a tale of love, acceptance and kindness,

A story of life, of the essences of loss, the pain of suffering

 

The agony of misunderstanding, of mind induced perceptions and

Selfish longings and needs.

 

But there is sympathy and empathy in this voice too because they know the pain,

They have felt the suffering, tasted the tears and watched their own hearts melt with disappointment.

 

The agony of loss is no stranger to their collective heart, so they truly understand my

State of mind today and give me comfort and love in a way only they can.

 

They know how I miss he who passed through the veil, they know him and he them. They are one together and it is his presence they allow me to feel here in this mourning morning softness.

 

The trees are my saviors; they surround me with their gentle strength and hold me in their arms

In the hardest of times, they understand without judgment, they feel my heart beat with theirs

 

As they stand together – silent sentinels of everlasting light and hope in

Noble silence and truth.

 

I am renewed by their strength, honored by their kindness and

Forever grateful for their love.

 

2/1/16

A Celebration of Light and Love

On By MiCoIn candles, dreams, earth, faith, heartbreak, hope, light, love, love lost, love poetry, nature, pain, poetry, sadness, seasons, spirit, suffereing, sweetness7 Comments

Embrace the feminine,

Rejoin the world of light and shadow.

My sisters await,

I have been gone too long.

But they are patient, their rhythmic drumming continues,

A call for wisdom to those who have come before.

The drums awaken in our souls the

Primal sounds of life.

Listen to the crows cry in morning

Listen to the night sounds resonate with the vibrations of life.

Brook and sky

Flow together in harmony.

My soul reunites with my heart.

My place is remembered and rejoined.

My heart is endless, and knows no time or place,

It retains a place for him.

He who completes the connection,

Body and soul as no other can.

But I have learned, that to desert myself,

To love so completely that I lose myself

Is not what it is meant to be.

My love must complement who I am

Not become who I am.

My love for him is eternal,

It takes up no space and has no limits but

I will not allow it to consume me.

If only he could know, could feel as I do,

Our love would be as it was intended, the connection would be complete.

The space between us would dissolve into vapor and

We would be one in harmony with earth and sky.

Together

And the crows would cry at sunrise

And the night sounds would resonate with the sound of my sisters singing and drumming in celebration of light and love, love as it should be.

2/11/15

MC

I wrote this for him last year, a lovely fantasy, very lovely but equally lonely…

The Light Everlasting

On By MiCoIn Buddhism Meditation space, courage, darkness, dreams, faith, fear, god, hope, light, love, love lost, love poetry, nature, pain, peace, poetry, spirit, sweetness, Zen5 Comments

What is it trying to tell me?
Anything?

 

The quote in the window,

The quick car in the night.

 

Is it all in my head?

Probably.

 

But if not, what is trying to break through,

Break into this world through me and why show me if it isn’t real…no, I have to stop thinking…

 

I need to see the moon lit patterns of white and shadow on the snow and hear how they speak to me.

The chimes are calling me again from the silence of my soul to look, listen, observe.

 

I need to hear the hungry owl’s cries in the night, feel its silent wings move swiftly in the darkness,

Too swiftly for its pray and watch with detachment the

 

Swift death, natural and inevitable but made a villain

By my thoughts.

 

I need to leave these thoughts and become

Stillness in the chaos, I need to reenter the silent swiftness of the owl’s wings and moon shadows.

 

For It is the only place to be and

The only place I have ever existed.

 

My being had begun to seep away while I was preoccupied,

Distracted by the other, the unnatural, the evil of my own making.

 

But the owl’s wings are bringing me home now,

My time of regression is waning but it has taken its toll.

 

My heart is weaker, my thoughts harder to read.

There is no regressing without damage to me and the object of the cause.

 

Solitude and stillness, as the getaway to the road back are coming into view…

The road to the place of reclamation of my soul,

 

Back to the essence of bliss, the light everlasting and

The hand in mine.

Dissolving

On By MiCoIn autumn, candles, darkness, dreams, earth, faith, fear, god, hope, light, love, nature, poetry, sadness, seasons, spirit, sweetness, Zen8 Comments

I sit, candlelight flickering

Through my eyelids.

 

The skylight reflects the candlelight back to me,

And the new moon back to the moon.

 

The night landscape is dark,

Cold and endless.

 

I am cold and endless as I rise above the candle.

The wind blows my hair and chills my bones.

 

My eyes scan the dark earth.

Fields lie in wait, trees sleep.

 

Hills role on to hills,

And night sky meets night wood.

 

My body and gaze rise above

The wood to the sky.

 

Dark joining dark,

Points of light joining points of light.

 

In the darkness there is no separation of earth and sky.

In my darkness there is no separation.

 

The flicker of candlelight

Through the skylight fades with distance.

 

The quiet and dark become who I am,

All encompassing, all inclusive, comforting

All dissolving into one.

Winter White

On By MiCoIn earth, faith, god, hope, light, love, love poetry, nature, peace, poetry, seasons, spirit, thanks, ZenLeave a comment

Winter mornings,

Cold, gray skies

 

Weep snowflakes in

Drifts of white.

 

Tree branches are outlined with

Each twig and bud coated in white.

 

The evergreen’s frosted tips are decorations done by

The Creator’s loving hands.

 

Isn’t it wonderful how rain drops turn white when they freeze, nice touch God!

The Creator has a flair for external decorating!

 

Cardinals come to my birdfeeders in January

And perch in the nearby evergreens to eat their breakfast.

 

A perfect Christmas card picture

Naturally created in red, white and green.

 

Chickadees wear their little black caps all winter, eat their fill at the birdfeeders,

And gather in groups at the bottom of winter’s abandoned bird houses to keep warm.

 

Squirrels sit in my window boxes eating stolen bird seeds

And watch me through the window watching them.

 

Their little ears and eyes ever alert and twitching.

Danger could be lurking behind every snow back and tree trunk.

 

And while I sit, warm and safe inside by the woodstove, I think of how hard it must be to

Live as the wild creatures do, where your survival depends on your alertness.

 

But really, is that so difference from our lives? We would do well to take a lesson from the

Winter creatures, our survival as a species ultimately depends on our alertness as well.

 

So while the snowy silence fills our days, pay attention to the winter wilds, be alert to the

now and the lurking dangers behind the snow banks and tree trunks will disappear on their own.

 

Watch the squirrels, appreciate the beauty of the Cardinals and evergreens, embrace the cold,

Treasure the winter sky and white rain drops and be grateful for what there is and

Be, just Be.

Nostalgia

On By MiCoIn changes, childhood, courage, faith, family, hope, light, love, past times, poetry6 Comments

Nostalgia, longing,

Is that what they call that slow, sad ache in my chest?

 

I get it when I think of my distant past,

My childhood, those days of security and family.

 

Parents who took care of everything, a father who was

Always there and the most honest man I have ever known.

 

The nostalgic pain is refreshed when I go on line and look at

Pictures of the town I grew up in and the memories they bring.

 

Today I am sitting in my writing desk listening to an infomercial on the tv in the other room.

It is an ad for recordings of love songs of the last 50 years, the nostalgic ache is as great as the music is beautiful.

 

A Time/Life collection of love songs from the past a few of which are:  “At Last” by Etta James, “Stardust” by Nat King Cole, “Chances Are” by Jonny Mathis, and one of my very favorites “What a Beautiful World” by Louis Armstrong.  Where have all the good love songs gone?

Are they gone because love isn’t the same today as it was then?  Is it because sex means nothing more than a bodily function to most people? Are people really that difference now than they were in the recent past, or do they just not know any better?

Have we changed so much that love and sex are not personal or important anymore?  I hope not although that is the way it seems more and more.

But I refuse to believe it even though I have loved and surrendered myself, all of me in truth to three men in my life and have been used and left behind by each of them.

Did I expect too much, expect them to be more than they are capable of? And was the past really so much better or have I painted it with unrealistic and romanticized memories based on songs?  I don’t know, maybe.

But I remember my dad dancing with my mom in the living room, and I remember him telling me that there was no greater job to be done in this world than the one my mother did taking care of us and our home.

He lived and treated us and everyone in his life with respect and love.  My ideas on how things should be are greatly influenced by him, and for that I am thankful.

Maybe it is because of him that my disappointments of the past and the most recent one have so deeply affected me, my dad is a hard act to follow.

But on the other hand it is because of the things he taught me that I will try to keep my heart open in the hope that maybe somewhere out there is a man who remembers the old love songs and what they really meant.
A man who is open to love and trust, understanding and compassion.  I’m sure he exists; I just don’t know where to find him.