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Poetry from my heart

I Am Grateful

 

When anger leaves, disbelief fades

And my heart takes a deep breath and feels a new peace.

Inside I feel different, sad but different.

The shift in conscious that I have longed for has taken over my being.

I have learned through experience that I won’t die…

That this is not what will kill me and as a consequence I know 

I can accept that it will be what

It will be, or maybe not be at all… and that either way, it is ok.

Anger has left,

Disbelief has faded and, unexpectedly, peace has returned.

For this I am grateful. 

(this is a re-post from two years ago – with edits)

Owls

They are nothing less than silent, swooping, gliding,

Magic,

Whose calls echo through bare spring trees

And color my nights with beauty.

One calls and waits.

The answer to come when it will.

With each call, the distance lessens between their

Voices in the night.

That which fills my night heart with light and joy,

Fills the hearts of others with fear.

It is the fear of ending.

An ending that comes out of the sky

In silent, swooping, gliding, magic.

The magic of beauty or,

The magic and freedom of death.

After All

 

It rolls out in waves from

One thought to another.

It remains as one heart flowing into the other

Then back again to me.

It travels by glowing starshine that lights its way

Through the darkest nights only to

Leave me at dawn as sunshine brings back the true sight,

Sound and taste of its love.

But as it leaves, its absence is not sad as the void left behind is open,

Open to every other possibility love can explore.

It becomes a love bigger than me in spite of its misplaced attention

And I see that it was meant for me, after all.

Always

His hands at the center of my back

Touch the center of my being.

My hands draw him in,

Deep into my heart and soul.

We are two separate beings

joined in one existence.

It is an existence that comes and goes

is here and gone.

It is empty yet full.

We are together but always alone.

Maybe it is too much.

Too lovely, too sweet and smooth,

Deep but never whole.

Always over, again and again and again

But always just beginning.

It’s Back

It is back!

It has been gone so long, I thought it had forgotten me and

Had left me behind to wonder

And miss it,

To search for its faltering presence and

To long for its comfort.

My wanting and longing kept it away.

My acceptance of its absence, for its own reasons, not mine, brought it back.

I must resist the urge to hold it close

To crush it with my desperate need.

For its need for me is as strong

As my need for it.

The un-manifest became manifest.

Words

Expectations and explanations

Both changing with the wind.

Both a disappointment.

Just words, so many useless words.

They are stubborn and painful,

Mostly mine.

I’m tired, world weary tired.

It’s all too confusing, too many games,

Too many rules and players.

Too much thought.

Leave it all behind

Drop the thoughts,

Don’t believe them

They are not real.

There Must Be A Reason

Music flows through my head,

My heart and soul follow.

The notes run together

Like stepping stones through a fountain,

Happily skipping their way

Across the vibrating waters of sound.

They bring order to the chaos of noise

And joy to the count of beats.

Music brings happiness in melodies that linger and

Form the foundation of memories.

Everything, when set to music,

Is easier to remember.

Why is that?

There must be a reason.

There Are No Words Left

What can I say –

There are no words left…

No correct ones, anyway, but even without words

 love’s heart lingers.

The useless words drip down the windows of my soul like rain

Turning snow to slush

And white noise to wet mud.

Sucking me under again.

The memories can’t be erased, or ignored.

And although they can’t be sucked back into non-being,

They begin to fade and with time become so thin they blend with the dripping snow,

But still I cannot, will not, forget or give them up.

I know the memories will remain mine,

Always mine and each time the same.

They will stay in my mind beautiful and true

Until time steps out of time and begins again.

(Poem #5  April 5, 2017) 

 

Quiet Gentleness

 There is a smoothness to the

Texture of ordinary days.

Ease and effort are the same,

Quiet gentleness and holy light.

Each object flowing effortlessly

Into every other object yet each

Remaining what they are while at the same time,

Knowing they are all made of the same things that are not them.

“Water takes the shape of the vessel that contains it,

Yet has no shape of its own” (Mooji)

What is my place in this quiet?

I am the water outside of the vessel,

The space the wind occupies between the trees,

The pause between the breaths,

The observer of the smoothness of ordinary days and

The light that exists at the center of the flower.

I am eternal.  

(Poem #3 of the April Poetry Month’s 30 poems in 30 day challenge)

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