Next Life

Is is me who I grieve for.

My heart and soul wait

anticipating it all to be as I want, but

I chose you, unwisely.

Why cant you be more, be what I want?

All of you, the collective you too.

But it is only me,

smothering in want and need.

Occasionally the sun breaks through but only to be swallowed by the sea, again.

Will it rise tomorrow?

Maybe not.

It is all slipping away,

It is almost over.

Until next time,

love,

next life.

The Arms of Darkness

The woods are still and quiet tonight.

Exhausted from growing all day,

They rest in the softness of the dark.

No demands, no impatience to grow, produce, or succeed remains.

Nothing moves tonight.

The air is heavy with dew,

Leaves hang limp on relaxed branches,

And grasses lean on each other and sleep.

Dawn will come soon and

Growth will begin again.

The fast and noisy world will awaken and

Life will continue its mission to grow but for now,

For this silent night,

All is peaceful and still,

At rest in the arms of darkness.

Milkweed and Fireflies

The heavenly scent from the milkweed blossoms feeds my senses,

And the dew-soaked field sings to me in words unspoken.

 

The sweet summer night wind is alive with twinkling lights and

Fireflies sparkle in the humid mist, rivaling the stars.

 

He and I are are brought here together by light and love and once again

Drink in the sweetness of a night kissed promise.

 

We have no need for words in this place of wind and Chi,

And exist together in silence among the night flowers glowing with starshine.

 

I feel his words,

I see  his emotions…

 

I dissolve in the star-shine with him and once again,

He and I are one with the night sky and the field of flowers.

 

Nothing brings him closer to me;

Nothing brings me closer to his heart.

 

In love we once more share the beauty of darkness

And walk together in this field of light at night,

 

But our time is short as the morning always comes and with it

The sun’s light to melt our magic.

 

So together we face the heartbreak at sunrise and say goodbye again as

The sun evaporates the dew,

 

Smothers my tears,

And leaves me in this place, alone.

 

 

Both

Why does dark seem heavy while light is, well, light?
Is one easier to carry than the other?
Dark seems to have weight,
Light doesn’t.
Dark holds you back but
Light lights your way.
There is a dark night of the soul
But joy in the morning light.
Night’s darkness surrounds my little cottage
Making its windows shine from within.
Life’s darkness surrounds my soul making my heart shine from within.
I cannot have one without the other.
I am thankful for both.

No One

 

In bits and pieces,

Dribs and drabs, 

Bit by bit, he fades away.

Less and less and less… until 

There is no more, and

All that is left is brittle pieces on the floor

To be swept under the rug where no one will see,

No one will care, no one will know, not even him.

No one.

Except me.

Only me…

Inner Stillness in Predawn Darkness

There is inner stillness in the predawn darkness as

The forest begins to stir around me.

 

They seem to notice my presence

“Someone is among us”, they mummer.

 

As I sit in silence and wait,

The Eastern sky begins to lighten and

 

The earth responds with movement,

Air movement, a stirring, ever so slight and gentle,

 

More sensed than felt.

I continue to sit in silence and wait.

 

At last I can feel them coming closer, one by one.

Not in outer distance but in inner peace.

 

As they circle me I can feel them saying “Welcome”.

They bring such wisdom in their silence.

Such kindness without motion or audible voice

 

But a voice nonetheless, a voice that is felt with the soul

Not heard with the ears.

 

A voice that is eons old, no, older than that:

A voice that has existed since the beginning of time.

 

Since the time before manifestation.

Their voices speak to me in the sweet darkness of the woods

 

Telling me a tale of love, acceptance and kindness.

A story of life, of the essences of loss and the pain of suffering,

 

Of the agony of misunderstanding and mind induced perceptions, and

Selfish longings and needs: all of my own making.

 

But there is sympathy and empathy in these voices too, they know the pain,

They have felt the suffering, tasted the tears and watched their own hearts melt with disappointment.

 

The agony of loss is no stranger to their collective heart, so they truly understand my

State of mind today and give me comfort and love in a way only they can.

 

They know how I miss he who passed through the veil, they know him and he them. They are one together and it is his presence they allow me to feel here in this mourning morning softness.

 

The trees are my saviors; they surround me with their gentle strength and hold me in their arms

In the hardest of times, they understand without judgment, they feel my heart beat with theirs

 

As they stand together – silent sentinels of everlasting light and hope in

Noble silence and truth.

 

I am renewed by their strength, honored by their kindness and

Forever grateful for their love.

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The Other Side

It is a hard, windy January night.

The dark is deepest this time of year with

The forest asleep, the sky swift, the stars icy and

The snow hard and crunchy under vacant feet.

For now, I am safe on this side of the frosted glass.

But later, when my eyes close, the cold will sneak in and hold me captive in its icy grip.

It will seep into my dreams and turn my tears to ice.

It will remind me of the coldness on the other side and of that empty space in my heart.

The one that used to be filled by you.

Sunrise Lover (this is a favorite from a few years ago. Reading this always brings me back, back to that lovely place in the past)

My Sunrise lover sleeps in

Soft, warm darkness.

As sunlight filters in at dawn and

The room brightens, his form slowly comes into being,

Emerging from the rumpled pile of bedclothes.

He is smooth, warm, dark and lovely.

I lie next to him, my face resting against his.

In the early morning’s half-light I can just make out

His eyelashes, resting on his smooth cheeks.

His noble nose is outlined by the

Light spilling in through the window.

His lips are beautiful and full,

Soft and sweet.

And as the room continues to lighten,

His breathing quickens and his body stretches.

I move away from him just a bit

To take in his whole being.

He is strong, lean and beautiful,

All I could ever want or need.

He must feel my presence and

His eyes flutter open.

His smile, at seeing my face so close to his,

Is so beautiful and welcoming,

As if to say he missed me while he slept.