At Last

In the Joy of this peaceful Wednesday morning,

a kaleidoscope of emotions and thoughts,

floods my soul like sunlight through the clouds.

It gives me just a glimpse of the crystal blue sky that lies beyond the gray.

A blue that waits patiently for me to notice it is there.

But when I do, my desire to hold onto that blue sky, that glimpse of joy,

becomes my downfall.

The sky-blue joy is not meant to be held or captured.

Holding it too close would be to smother it, diminish its power.

Instead, I learned to move with it, become part of it,

no longer wishing to become its conqueror or controller.

So now, over time, I have come to realize and understand that only by letting go

can I feel the crystal blue joy deep inside my heart,

welcoming me back home…

At last.  

My Turn

At 68 it is now my turn.

You have taken care of me since I was formed in my mother’s womb in darkness.

But the darkness didn’t last, and you became my friend and love.

You loved me though the baby stages, the reckless teen years,

the trials of using you to produce more of me,

the times of struggling with weight, too much or too little.

You only thought of me and I, in my arrogance and misunderstandings of your propose,

treated you as a second-class citizen.

As someone with no rights, and no thoughts for yourself and

For my arrogance, I am sorry.

I am sorry for all the times I didn’t pay attention to what you needed,

what you cried out for,

what you wanted,

what you cried in the night for,

what I didn’t give you.

But now, here we are.

We are still here together but

the tables have turned and it is I who

must take care of you.

I who must finally listen to you,

give you what your need,

respect your sacrifices,

your hurts and sorrows.

You have carried me all these years so now

it is only right that I should carry you.

I watch you struggle daily with things that used to be so easy for you.

So easy that I never gave them a thought.

I do now.

I see how unbalanced you are and wonder when that happened.

I guess I wasn’t paying attention.

Your shape has changed.

That too is my fault.

You have done nothing wrong but are failing anyway.

Time is now your enemy,

The way of nature dictates your future regardless of what I want.

So now it is my turn.

My turn to give you all that you need to keep going

until your time has expired, and I leave you.

When the time comes, I will leave but not without sorrow for you because you, my friend,

have been the best body and friend a human

could ever have had.

I have been blessed to call you mine

and will take the memory of how well you have served me

on my next journey, wherever that may take me.

I will never forget you,

And when the end comes,

I will thank you and send you back to the earth in peace.

Rest well there my friend, rest well.

Witness

The trees outside my bedroom window are naked but
evergreens remain green to remind me of life’s continuance,
always existing just below the surface.
The trees are stark silhouettes in gray,
each branch and twig evident but asleep.
There is a silence in the wood.
A soft, comforting, sleeping silence,
a hush of reverence, a soothing of soul.
Awareness hangs like smoke among the naked branches.
An awareness of belonging, of no doubts,
of confidence in the being and faith in the belonging.
So they stand, the trees of winter, cold and silent,
in perfect harmony with their place and mine.
Each a witness to the other and
both a witness to the One.  

Too Late

It’s too late now.

No point in trying to start over.

It is back.

Same but different.

I feel like I’m waiting.

Waiting for life to pass as children do when they play games

killing time to grow up.

Except,

I’m killing time to die.

But it’s not a sad state.

It feels normal.

A part of the progression of life.

Moving toward the end,

is smooth and well… it’s okay.

I feel sometimes like time has stopped.

My quest for life’s riches has ceased to be important and, in its place,

is a quiet resignation, a comfort.

Gratitude fills me with the knowing that all is as it should be.

There truly is a time for every purpose under heaven…

To Be

There is a thickness to humanity.

A dense and heavy layer.

A disguise, a cover, an excuse.

A veil of mystery waiting to be

Lifted, awakened, removed.

There is so much, so much in each one,

So deep, so vast, so hidden.

But there are those moments,

Moments of clarity, moments of knowing,

Moments of awareness for even the

Most unaware.

The richness that hides beneath

Comes to the surface, unbidden but persistent.

Always there in each of us, waiting behind the scenes, waiting to be noticed,

Waiting to be

To be

To just be

And be done.

Never Let Go

Seashells and wave echoes

Swirl and laugh in the emptiness behind my eyes.

I have let it go, sent it away,

Opened the lock and set it free.

This open space is vast, quiet and soft.

Wave echoes roll around the edges of my inner space

And blend with the stillness that never stands still.

There is a flow and a wash to this interior space.

A space that holds it all and more.

More me, more us,

All together in the vastness of love and peace, so come,

Kick off your shoes and dance with me.

Listen to the song of the seashells and watch,

Watch the empty space fill with us and more.

Catch the wave echoes when they come around again but

This time, this one last time,

Never let go.

My Mind

In the beginning, my beginning, my mind

Was my friend, my ally, my confidant, but no more.

My mind has become my enemy,

One that shares this space inside of me but cares not for my well-being.

Its thoughts turn night into day, lust into love, and want into envy.

It whispers its lies in my ear, distracting me from my truth.

I need to fight back and spend more time sitting and focusing on my

Return to that initial, eternal mind of being.

In time, when the process is complete,

My mind will return to its beginning state as my life navigator and soul companion.

Its taunting will stop, its search for drama will cease,

Its remembering of a hundred hurtful events a day will end,

And once again, as it was in the beginning,

It will be my friend.

Milkweed and Fireflies

The heavenly scent from the milkweed blossoms feeds my senses,

And the dew-soaked field sings to me in words unspoken.

 

The sweet summer night wind is alive with twinkling lights and

Fireflies sparkle in the humid mist, rivaling the stars.

 

He and I are are brought here together by light and love and once again

Drink in the sweetness of a night kissed promise.

 

We have no need for words in this place of wind and Chi,

And exist together in silence among the night flowers glowing with starshine.

 

I feel his words,

I see  his emotions…

 

I dissolve in the star-shine with him and once again,

He and I are one with the night sky and the field of flowers.

 

Nothing brings him closer to me;

Nothing brings me closer to his heart.

 

In love we once more share the beauty of darkness

And walk together in this field of light at night,

 

But our time is short as the morning always comes and with it

The sun’s light to melt our magic.

 

So together we face the heartbreak at sunrise and say goodbye again as

The sun evaporates the dew,

 

Smothers my tears,

And leaves me in this place, alone.

 

 

Watcher of the Woods

From my bedroom window

I watch the woodland change with the seasons.

On the corner of the house, a maple branch hugs the windowsill

Its leaves framing my view of the forest.

How can I explain the secret life of leaves I observe from my window and the

Magical growth that takes place in silence unseen?

I can think of no words to use, so instead I just watch, I watch the breeze

ruffle the leaves and the branches move together in the wind like fans made of feathers.

And then the rain comes, and I watch the drops play the

Leaves like keys on a piano.

I am content with my role as watcher and marvel at the strength and skill the trees employ when they interlock their arms to form an impenetrable force of gentle power in silence.

These graceful tree spirits are woven together by the hand of God to create

The framework of the forest.

They surround my home and speak to my soul.

My heart hears their thoughts and hopes,

And I realize and know that they are

Not so different from me.

I understand and accept that we share this planet and are

Children of the One in all our varied forms.

All connected,

All equal in the eyes of our creator.

And the peace and stillness of the wood

pervades my soul and feeds my spirit and makes me one with those who stand outside looking in.