Darkness

The stillness of the night air

Hangs heavy outside my window.

Its darkness threatens to come in,

But my reading light keeps it at bay, and

Although the light is bright, drips of silent night

Sneak in around the edges of my window sill

And puddle on the floor by the curtain hem

To remind me of the darkness that lurks just outside

My window

And my heart.

Tea Mugs and Wine Glasses

Come, sit and sip with me again.

The tea will warm our hands, the wine our hearts.

Hold my hands across the table once more and

Watch and feel my eyes melt into yours.

I know your heart hears mine but you pull

Your sweater tight and muffle its cries for me.

Let it out, it only wants to share.

Don’t be afraid,

Your heart won’t leave you for me and mine

Won’t leave me for you, but

They will meet when

Our chests touch.

Their harmonic beauty will speak to us in peace and love and

Lull us into the sweetness of sleep

Among the tea mugs

And wine glasses.

10/24/15

Of Love and Light

Nostalgia weighs heavy on my heart tonight, 

And I long for what could have been.

 

But then I remember why it wasn’t but what makes me the most sad is that I also remember 

That it almost was.

 

So wanting and loving, I sit alone in this night of late winter cold as the music of piano and cello drifts through my head.

  The sound of the cello speaks to my soul and caresses my heart.

 

In the melody, I hear two hands playing together in perfect union and feel that

I am as one of those hands, looking for the familiar accompaniment of the other.

 

And so in the depths of this late winter evening I am lost in

Remembering what never was, feeling what didn’t exist,

 

Loving what could have been  

In this time of warm darkness, candle light and winter solitude.

 

Now there exists only a memory of he and I, together yet alone,

Forever wrapped in the spirit of love and light.

 

Just Look

I saw the stars last night,

Didn’t even have to get out of bed.

They were so bright in the cold, dense,winter air

That they shown right through my lacy bedroom curtains.

I saw it as a reminder of what is still there and always will be,

And to find it yet again,

We just have to look through the holes one more time.

February Morning

Monday morning winter sunshine warms my room and

James Taylor serenades me and my oatmeal.

There are frost etchings on the old warped glass windows that surround my space.

In the harsh light of day, my mind and heart step back to echos of last evenings secret loving,

Soft as the candle flames flickering on my night stand.

A lingering warmth traces his outline in my bed as his Cheshire cat smile is the last to leave, 

Only fading with the daylight.

Summer Stillness Retreat

Silence among strangers

and trees.

All enclosed in sacred spaces and domes with

The inside out and the outside in.

Our souls are connected in silence,

With everything in common but no two of us the same.

Bells and sunrise mark the day’s beginning and in the evening,

Night is a blanket of calm and sleep as 

Tomorrow’s promises wait in shadowed softness.

A Valuable Part of Two

The heat of a summer day softens and slips silently

Into evening twilight.

The shifting shadows and cooling breezes of evening chill my being and

Bring an acute awareness of sorrow and emptiness to my state of mind.

This subtle, soft twilight is lonely and empty now

But was beautiful at other times and under other circumstances in my life.

Twilight holds tenderness and acceptance of love in times of loving but

When love is missing or withheld, twilight is punishing in its loneliness.

A solitary stroll through the garden is a waste;

There is no joy in relaxing in the rocking hammock alone. 

Light sadly leaves the landscape and drains the world of color

Just as this lost love drains my soul and heart of color.

The trees along the edge of the clearing blend into a fortress wall,

Locking me out in my loneliness.

Fireflies blink on and off but evade my eyes behind the fortress of trees

and the stark cold moon light accentuates  my solitude by throwing only one shadow behind me.

In better times, when I was not alone, the deepiening twilight was a magical time,

Full of love and acceptance.

 We walked the garden paths together, basking in the glow of the moon

 And soaking in the softness of star-shine.

Our shadows moved willingly behind us, hand in hand,

And fireflies lit our way home.

I want to go back to that time, back to being a valuable part of two,

Back to the times of softened days that faded into loving nights of passion and acceptance.

I need you take me back there, please…

Sunday Evening Sorrow

Sunday evening sorrow

A lonely time, a time in between.

 

The old week has ended,

The new not yet begun.

 

Another ending, freshly felt and remembered in sadness,

Will not end as easily as last week, it continues to linger and hurt, refusing to let go.

 

I am left behind,

Alone with this Sunday evening truth.

 

There is no space

No thought, no warmth.

 

Need is strong but left unattended, neglected,

And words that linger are incomplete.

 

Conversations left unfinished,

With thoughts not expressed or maybe expressed but not received or wanted.

 

It starts and stops,

Comes and goes but comes back only to stop again.

 

How can the coming stop,

But the stopping go on and on and on?

 

I thought there was no separation,

But now I accept that there is nothing to be separate from.

 

The empty space is all that remains within me,

The void was never filled, the dream never realized.

 

One thought had weight and ruled the results,

But mine did not.

 

But isn’t there really only one thought, one truth

One meaning?

 

I just don’t know anymore, I used to think I did, used to feel it in all there was

But now, it is gone and all that is left is the doubt.

 

I want to fight back, regain what I had, what I love

But I can’t. And even if I could, it would be futile; there is no longer another side.

 

What I thought was one is now two.

There is no energy, no anger, only the wanting and needing.

 

And so I sit, just sit on my cushions

In this Sunday evening loneliness

 

And watch the candles burn away the time

And hurt of love left behind.

 

 

 

It Is All I Have

I need to write.

I need to say what I feel.

 

But I’m afraid,

Afraid of my pen, of my words.

 

Afraid I will not be able to stop.

Afraid that they will take over my being and

 

Bring out all my hidden truths and fears,

Even the ones I’m not aware of and I will have nowhere left to hide.

 

It will be a flood of words,

A torrent of emotions.

 

Some familiar in their pain, and

Others new in their hope.

 

Can I be brave and strong enough to hold onto my belief in love

In spite of all those truths and fears?

 

The wind-chimes on my porch say yes,

The trees, in their silent way, nod in agreement

 

And in hope the earth turns ever towards the sun

Always believing in and following its light and love.

 

So I must be brave and follow the earth’s example and

Turn to the Son too with faith and hope and

 

Never stop believing in love for in this moment, this now,

It is all I have and nothing else matters.