Category: courage

His Secrets

On By MiCoIn courage, dreams, earth, faith, hope, light, nature, poetry, Uncategorized10 Comments

 

The fox barks in the night.

He feels safe in the darkness.

 

He circles my house, slowly

Barking his questions at me.

 

He watches as I sit by the campfire in the yard.

I see his eyes at the edge of the wood lit by the flames, waiting, observing.

 

Does he have something to tell me?  Some great wisdom to impart to my so-called intelligent brain?

 

I know he holds all the answers but in his innocence

He assumes that I do.

 

He knows that all there is, is all he is.

It is only the falseness of my thinking that keeps us separate.

 

I envy him and his essence and ability to be completely in tune with all there  is.

But why does he watch me?

 

What could my presence here possibly give to him?

He needs nothing that I have.

 

So he continues barking his secrets at me and I continue to

Wait and long for that time when words and barks lose their separate meanings

 

And I finally understand and feel his secrets too.

The Soulscape of My Heart.

On By MiCoIn Buddhism Meditation space, courage, dreams, earth, faith, god, hope, light, love, love poetry, nature, poetry, spirit3 Comments

 

Outcrops of rock and

Lichen covered pinnacles of grandeur are

 

God’s favorite places,

Places where he lets us see,

 

Lets us in on the secret,

Lets us in on what makes him happy.

 

His eyes sculpted the mountains with a glance,

His hands scooped the valleys with ease giving light and dark a place to play.

 

His breath still powers the winds that sail and howl over the cliffs

And stir the hearts of human kind.

 

The mountains are God’s sacred place and

A place where I go to feel His power,

 

To be closer to heaven

To touch and feel His love.

 

He exists forever in the hard landscape of rock and

In the soft soulscape of my heart.

A Part of His Plan

On By MiCoIn changes, courage, earth, faith, garden, god, growing, hope, light, love, love poetry, nature, poetry, seasons, spirit, sweetness, thanks, Uncategorized8 Comments

 

It is warm here now.

Just yesterday I could still feel the cold.

 

It retreated upward,

The sun melting the frost.

 

Mother Earth sending her warmth

To meet the sun’s, with me in the middle!

 

I hear the rain striking

The earth above me now,

 

Its sound no longer muffled

By the snow.

 

The water puddles around me in the spaces between the rocks and

Softens my shell with its spring freshness.

 

My soul is awakened and has been waiting for this moment,

Waiting for the conditions to be just right.

 

My softened shall cracks and

A single, tiny root pokes its little head out into the soil.

 

It stretches its very being into the darkness and

Finds water and nutrients to power my growth.

 

Slowly my stem emerges from this shell and pushes me ever so gently up and up

Around the rocks and worms,

 

Bending to avoid the obstacle’s, always holding me in love

While searching for the sun.

 

I have never seen the sun, but I know it is there.

It has spoken to me in my dark winter of dreams.

 

Its promise is finely fulfilled when, only by  gargantuan efforts, my

Tiny stem has transported me to the surface of the soil.

 

My head breaks free and I feel the fresh spring breeze for the first time as

My stem lifts me up as an offering to the sun.

 

Through my soil bound journey, a miracle has taken place within me.

The work of God, done in darkness, is now revealed.

 

My seed splits open and my two magically made seed leaves open

Their fresh green faces to the sun.

 

Its brilliance is over whelming and

Its warmth and love unsurpassed.

 

I feel its strength soaking into even fiber of my being.

The sensation is incredible and I am full of life.

 

But the end of my journey is still a mystery to me.

What will I become?  Only God knows …

 

He has built the blueprint into my soul

But he hasn’t given me the instructions.

 

I will grow in the awareness that I am aware.

My being will take in the sun and wind, the soil and water, and I will become that which God intended.

 

Whether his intentions be a sunflower or a string bean,

I will be happy and joyful at being a part of His plan and

 

I will rejoice in His goodness.

Hari Om

Be Dissolved In The Liquid Son

On By MiCoIn changes, courage, darkness, faith, fear, god, hope, light, love, love lost, love poetry, pain, peace, poetry, sadness, spirit, sweetness6 Comments

Imposters by fate but still

Miracles at birth.

 

Holed up in falsities

Missing the point.

 

Unsettled souls reap only what

They sow, no gifts are given or received.

 

No promises kept, no dreams fulfilled.

Maybe next time, but next time never comes.

 

It is the same ending, over and over and over.

A sadness steeped in familiarity,

 

Seduction for its own sake

The only prize.

 

It is a shallow, stagnate prize

But the only reward there is.

 

It is time to break this spell of soullessness and

Open to the pain of your deluded being.

 

Absorb it, take it in and by doing so defuse

Its dark energy.

 

Deny its claim on you,

Step away from its hold and

 

Watch, watch as it shrinks

And fades.

 

Watch it be consumed by the light,

And dissolved in the liquid love of the Son.

 

Watch it be taken from you

To hurt you no more.

 

Awaken and feel the light and goodness

Of who God made you to be.

 

It is there, already in you, see it for yourself

And when you do…

 

There will be darkness no more.

 

The Light Everlasting

On By MiCoIn Buddhism Meditation space, courage, darkness, dreams, faith, fear, god, hope, light, love, love lost, love poetry, nature, pain, peace, poetry, spirit, sweetness, Zen5 Comments

What is it trying to tell me?
Anything?

 

The quote in the window,

The quick car in the night.

 

Is it all in my head?

Probably.

 

But if not, what is trying to break through,

Break into this world through me and why show me if it isn’t real…no, I have to stop thinking…

 

I need to see the moon lit patterns of white and shadow on the snow and hear how they speak to me.

The chimes are calling me again from the silence of my soul to look, listen, observe.

 

I need to hear the hungry owl’s cries in the night, feel its silent wings move swiftly in the darkness,

Too swiftly for its pray and watch with detachment the

 

Swift death, natural and inevitable but made a villain

By my thoughts.

 

I need to leave these thoughts and become

Stillness in the chaos, I need to reenter the silent swiftness of the owl’s wings and moon shadows.

 

For It is the only place to be and

The only place I have ever existed.

 

My being had begun to seep away while I was preoccupied,

Distracted by the other, the unnatural, the evil of my own making.

 

But the owl’s wings are bringing me home now,

My time of regression is waning but it has taken its toll.

 

My heart is weaker, my thoughts harder to read.

There is no regressing without damage to me and the object of the cause.

 

Solitude and stillness, as the getaway to the road back are coming into view…

The road to the place of reclamation of my soul,

 

Back to the essence of bliss, the light everlasting and

The hand in mine.

Nostalgia

On By MiCoIn changes, childhood, courage, faith, family, hope, light, love, past times, poetry6 Comments

Nostalgia, longing,

Is that what they call that slow, sad ache in my chest?

 

I get it when I think of my distant past,

My childhood, those days of security and family.

 

Parents who took care of everything, a father who was

Always there and the most honest man I have ever known.

 

The nostalgic pain is refreshed when I go on line and look at

Pictures of the town I grew up in and the memories they bring.

 

Today I am sitting in my writing desk listening to an infomercial on the tv in the other room.

It is an ad for recordings of love songs of the last 50 years, the nostalgic ache is as great as the music is beautiful.

 

A Time/Life collection of love songs from the past a few of which are:  “At Last” by Etta James, “Stardust” by Nat King Cole, “Chances Are” by Jonny Mathis, and one of my very favorites “What a Beautiful World” by Louis Armstrong.  Where have all the good love songs gone?

Are they gone because love isn’t the same today as it was then?  Is it because sex means nothing more than a bodily function to most people? Are people really that difference now than they were in the recent past, or do they just not know any better?

Have we changed so much that love and sex are not personal or important anymore?  I hope not although that is the way it seems more and more.

But I refuse to believe it even though I have loved and surrendered myself, all of me in truth to three men in my life and have been used and left behind by each of them.

Did I expect too much, expect them to be more than they are capable of? And was the past really so much better or have I painted it with unrealistic and romanticized memories based on songs?  I don’t know, maybe.

But I remember my dad dancing with my mom in the living room, and I remember him telling me that there was no greater job to be done in this world than the one my mother did taking care of us and our home.

He lived and treated us and everyone in his life with respect and love.  My ideas on how things should be are greatly influenced by him, and for that I am thankful.

Maybe it is because of him that my disappointments of the past and the most recent one have so deeply affected me, my dad is a hard act to follow.

But on the other hand it is because of the things he taught me that I will try to keep my heart open in the hope that maybe somewhere out there is a man who remembers the old love songs and what they really meant.
A man who is open to love and trust, understanding and compassion.  I’m sure he exists; I just don’t know where to find him.

 

A New Life (a continuance of my post “Now” as I continue to grow, change and understand):

On By MiCoIn changes, courage, faith, fear, god, growing, hope, light, love, poetry, spiritLeave a comment

“What a liberation to realize that the “voice in my head” is not who I am. Who am I then? The one who sees that.” Eckhart Tolle

 

It is liberation, a true freedom from me,

Not freedom from the real me, of course, but from the one my Being watches.

 

My ego and mind work together to mostly cause me trouble.

They thrive on the pain and disappointment in life and are always looking to bring more.

 

The drag me down, make my body hurt, and

Make me reactive instead of responsive.

 

It is not only freeing to know that I am not that voice in my head

But is also guilt removing, it enables me to forgive myself.

 

For as Christ said on the cross, “Forgive them Father, they know not what they do”

But this isn’t to say that to hurt others and lash out in anger is ever ok.

 

It doesn’t mean that we can do or say whatever we want and then

Justify it by saying it wasn’t me speaking, it was my crazy mind and obsessive ego.

 

The above is especially true when one has gotten to the point of acceptance of the truth.

The truth of the true Being that is me, the one who watches.

 

Once that acceptance and truth is known and truly felt with one’s entire being, there is no going back. So now, when the ego and mind get the upper hand,

 

It is my responsibility to rein them in, keep them in check, watch them carefully and not allow them to take me over,

 

For not to do so would not only be a disservice to others but also a betrayal of myself.

Whoever He Is

On By MiCoIn changes, courage, dreams, faith, hope, light, love, love poetry, poetry, sadness, spirit, sweetness, symphony, Zen9 Comments

Sad loneliness surrounds me, who will fill my heart

My soul, my body and how will I find him?

 

I am at home today, spending quite time alone

Watching the winter white fill the forest.

 

There is a pot of beef and barely soup

Simmering on the stove,

 

Skies waiting outside the door

And wine chilling in the snow.

 

This could be a wonderfully sensuous and

Loving day but instead it is tainted by loneliness.

 

I have no one to share it with,

The man I love and want isn’t who I thought he was,

 

He is not interested and so I sit at my desk alone

Thinking…

 

How will I find him again?

Will it be real this time?

 

I need him to hold me, come ski with me

Share a bowl of fabulous soup and

 

Sip my wine,

The sweet wine of love for two.

 

So the afternoon rolls on

The soup perfuming the air and Bach filling my soul with beautiful notes.

 

If only he would come to fill my heart,

Whoever he is…

She is Not a Quitter

On By MiCoIn courage, darkness, dreams, faith, fear, heartbreak, hope, love, love lost, love poetry, pain, poetry, sadness, suffereing4 Comments

My little heart keeps asking me “why?”

I hear her tiny voice in the quiet early morning hours but I have no answer for her.

 

She has stayed up all night again.

Thinking about the past, feeling the pain and sorrow of the now.

 

She has fallen into a deep dark pit,

Her little voice echoing off the steep, cold sides.

 

I keep reaching out to her but her tiny hands

Have not the strength to hold on.

 

So she sinks back to the bottom and

Remains in sorrow and darkness.

 

It is a shame to witness this. She used to be such

A happy little thing,

 

Always positive, always trusting.

Albeit, sometimes a bit too naive for her own good,

 

But it was a naiveté not based on stupidity or ignorance but

One based on a choice to trust and believe in spite of the red flags not to.

 

I am afraid for her, she is weak and there are

Beasts down there in the darkness.

 

Beasts who lie to her,

Who tell her she is not good enough, that she is unlovable and a fool.

 

They sneak in while she sleeps and

Whisper doubts in her ear.

 

I keep trying to tell her to be strong and not listen to their lies,

But I don’t think she can hear me yet.

 

So I wait on the edge of the pit

With an open mind and open hand to catch her the next time she climbs to within my reach.

 

I don’t mind waiting because I know she will try again soon in spite of the pain and sorrow.

I have faith in her – she is not a quitter.

Why

On By MiCoIn changes, courage, dreams, fear, heartbreak, hope, light, love, love lost, love poetry, pain, poetry, sadness, suffereing5 Comments

Canvas curtains with

Buttons of rice.

 

Small enclosures

Hold melting floors while

 

Starched souls stand in the corner and

Their judgments fly.

 

Half held truths

Debase the morning sky and

 

Silence screams in my eyes while

Cut grass fragrance pervades my thoughts.

 

When will it all come together?

When will it stop?

 

The quiet death

Underwrites my soul while

 

Soft subtle shapes

Shift and take me with them.

 

And when the shapes settle, the past becomes the one and only

Place where I can breathe.

 

But I can’t go back there and all else has failed.

Why did you come back? just to leave again?

 

Why?  Did you forget to take something? I can’t imagine what

There is nothing left.…