Author: MiCo

I have a deep love of writing, especially poetry. I write from my heart and hope others will find some value in what I have to say.

Whoever He Is

On By MiCoIn changes, courage, dreams, faith, hope, light, love, love poetry, poetry, sadness, spirit, sweetness, symphony, Zen9 Comments

Sad loneliness surrounds me, who will fill my heart

My soul, my body and how will I find him?

 

I am at home today, spending quite time alone

Watching the winter white fill the forest.

 

There is a pot of beef and barely soup

Simmering on the stove,

 

Skies waiting outside the door

And wine chilling in the snow.

 

This could be a wonderfully sensuous and

Loving day but instead it is tainted by loneliness.

 

I have no one to share it with,

The man I love and want isn’t who I thought he was,

 

He is not interested and so I sit at my desk alone

Thinking…

 

How will I find him again?

Will it be real this time?

 

I need him to hold me, come ski with me

Share a bowl of fabulous soup and

 

Sip my wine,

The sweet wine of love for two.

 

So the afternoon rolls on

The soup perfuming the air and Bach filling my soul with beautiful notes.

 

If only he would come to fill my heart,

Whoever he is…

How Will I Know?

On By MiCoIn darkness, dreams, faith, heartbreak, love, love lost, love poetry, poetry7 Comments

How will I know?

Will it be obvious?

 

Or will I have to analyze

Each moment, each look to be sure and even then,

 

Will I be able to trust my judgment?

Trust another?

 

I met a man just the other day, he wanted me, I didn’t want him, he seemed nice,

But then so did the last one.

 

The last one presented himself to be just what I was looking for,

Kind, honest, loving, spiritual, he must have read my mind and adjusted his words to fit.

 

I don’t know how to get my faith back. My trusting nature

Was stolen, taken when I wasn’t looking.

 

The taking was so wrong and so complete that

I will never be the same again.

 

Maybe being not the same is a good thing,

Maybe it will keep me from being taken again.

 

But I kind of liked the old me, the one I was before.

The one who loved and trusted easily, the one who wore her heart on her sleeve.

 

I had been alone for a long time  when I met him.

I thought it would be hard to let go and love again, but he made it so easy, I wish it had been harder.

 

Maybe some day my tears will stop. But for now they come at the drop of a hat and are

Always just below the surface.

 

Do I cry for me,

Or for him?

 

I no longer can tell the difference, but I know that my confusion is foolish and pointless,

He doesn’t care who I cry for, he is happy now.

 

He says the worst thing that could happen to him has happened

And he has realized now that it was the best thing that could have happened to him.

 

So once again, it is all about him,

She and I and all the others were put in his life for his benefit

 

While he used us and now while he says he is trying to change.

 

What about the pain he has caused, what about an “I’m sorry”

 

There is no sorry, he says he has a “disease”, so just like an alcoholic,

He has yet another excuse for his behavior. An excuse

 

For his raping of my spirit, for his destroying of my trust in myself and others,

For his taking what he wanted under false pretenses.

 

I am tired; tired of hearing myself talk,

Tired of my constant thinking about him,

 

Tired of talking to myself, dreaming of him, waking up each morning with him in my heart with his music running through my head.

 

My friends and family are tired of hearing about it too,

I don’t blame them; I bore myself but I cannot hide and deny my feelings.

 

My heart will not be pushed aside,

She will not be ignored and she will not rest

 

Until the passage of time erases his smile and touch

From my soul.

Winter Trees

On By MiCoIn faith, family, god, hope, light, love, love poetry, poetry, seasons, spirit18 Comments

 

Winter Trees

 

Winter Trees, communing through my living room window, 12/24/15

While I am taking a break from blogging and facebooking, etc. just for the next few days to give my full attention to my family and the other loved ones in my life at this most joyful time of year,  I needed and wanted to wish each and every one of my many followers the very merriest of holy days, whatever your beliefs may be, now and in the new year to come.

So, my very best to each and every one of you and all your loved ones and yes, even to you, the one I have called the Predator because in spite of myself, or maybe because of my true self, I love you.

Merry Krishna-Christ-mass ! 🙂

A Wind is Coming

On By MiCoIn changes, heartbreak, hope, love, love lost, love poetry, nature, pain, poetry, sadness, suffereing4 Comments

A wind is coming.

I hear it in the trees,

 

I feel it in air,

I see it in the clouds.

 

It signals a change,

A departure from the norm.

 

A new wind, a new time.

A time to rest in His love,

 

A time to accept what is,

To forget what might have been.

 

The wind arrives and blows through my soul

And cleanses it but even its power cannot free my heart.

 

My heart is unresponsive and cold,

Only I have the power to change it, or at least I pretend to.

 

If only I truly did have that power,

My life would be so much happier.

 

I could choose to love who would be the best for me.

I could deny this love that won’t leave me alone and toss it out.

 

If only it were that simple

If only…

 

December Peace

On By MiCoIn faith, family, god, hope, light, love, peace, poetry9 Comments

December peace,

Joy in the silent voice of nature.

 

“The world in silent stillness lay…”

 

The anticipation builds and.

Woods and fields tingle with the static of Krishna-Christ consciousness.

 

Winter, as a time of darkness and cold, welcomes the colorful celebration of quiet joy

And of peace and goodwill towards all.

 

Tree branches reach for heaven

Their nakedness revealing their true nature,

 

Just as the Creator’s gifts to us reveal the

True nature of His love.

 

Gray December skies lower,

Heavy with the gifts of Winter and

 

Hardy crows sit in the tree tops and lend their

Voices to the choir of December love.

 

The Winter Solstice is a time for the celebration of the return of the Sun,

A symbol of the promise of light in the darkness, a promise of hope to all human kind.

 

An appropriate time as well for a celebration of the Sons of God who

Are the greatest symbols of hope in every type of darkness.

 

I can see the evidence of Their love in everything around me,

From the cawing crows, and the beautiful dried wild grasses of the field,

 

To the naked tree branches and the ultrasound picture on my desk

Of my newest grandchild still in the womb.

 

We are continually surrounded by the grace and love of the Creator

The proof is unmistakable and profound in its simplicity.

 

So this December, in this time of giving, open your eyes and heart

And feel the Joy; it is the best gift of all and it won’t cost you a penny.

 

Merry Christmas

 

 

 

 

Impossible, Beautiful Dream

On By MiCoIn changes, darkness, dreams, heartbreak, love, love lost, love poetry, pain, poetry, sadness2 Comments

Love is

A weighty substance.

 

What is it made of and

Where does it come from?

 

Why is it for one and not the other?

And why can’t we choose?

 

It’s truth and meaning are hidden in mystery,

It’s pain evident in lies and tears.

 

How do we know when it starts?

Is there a moment when one can say “yes, love has begun”?

 

I think there is a warming glow, an inner heat and smoothness

To love’s beginning but

 

When it ends… then want?

I cry for wanting him, he cries for not wanting me.

 

Our grief is an odd mixture of sadness, anger and joy because after all,

Love and hate are just opposite ends of the same emotion,

 

One that can turn on a dime and oscillate endlessly

Between the ends all in the space of a second.

 

When he stood before me that last time, for just those few seconds,

The world around us disappeared and he was all there was.

 

My heart stopped as the magnitude of the reality

Of his absence outside of those seconds filled me.

 

As I watched him walk away, I felt the warmth of my love, my heart’s

Blood, drain through my feet and follow him like a shadow.

 

But he left it in the parking lot,

Unwanted and rejected as he drove away.

 

I saw it melt into a puddle behind him

Where it waited for me to gather it up and take it home.

 

Where did this love for him come from? I don’t know,

If I knew I would send it back as

 

It has not served me well. It was based on a dream,

An impossible, beautiful dream but

 

One that was flawed, and although I didn’t realize it, it never had a chance,

Because he and it were damaged goods right from the start.

She is Not a Quitter

On By MiCoIn courage, darkness, dreams, faith, fear, heartbreak, hope, love, love lost, love poetry, pain, poetry, sadness, suffereing4 Comments

My little heart keeps asking me “why?”

I hear her tiny voice in the quiet early morning hours but I have no answer for her.

 

She has stayed up all night again.

Thinking about the past, feeling the pain and sorrow of the now.

 

She has fallen into a deep dark pit,

Her little voice echoing off the steep, cold sides.

 

I keep reaching out to her but her tiny hands

Have not the strength to hold on.

 

So she sinks back to the bottom and

Remains in sorrow and darkness.

 

It is a shame to witness this. She used to be such

A happy little thing,

 

Always positive, always trusting.

Albeit, sometimes a bit too naive for her own good,

 

But it was a naiveté not based on stupidity or ignorance but

One based on a choice to trust and believe in spite of the red flags not to.

 

I am afraid for her, she is weak and there are

Beasts down there in the darkness.

 

Beasts who lie to her,

Who tell her she is not good enough, that she is unlovable and a fool.

 

They sneak in while she sleeps and

Whisper doubts in her ear.

 

I keep trying to tell her to be strong and not listen to their lies,

But I don’t think she can hear me yet.

 

So I wait on the edge of the pit

With an open mind and open hand to catch her the next time she climbs to within my reach.

 

I don’t mind waiting because I know she will try again soon in spite of the pain and sorrow.

I have faith in her – she is not a quitter.

Why

On By MiCoIn changes, courage, dreams, fear, heartbreak, hope, light, love, love lost, love poetry, pain, poetry, sadness, suffereing5 Comments

Canvas curtains with

Buttons of rice.

 

Small enclosures

Hold melting floors while

 

Starched souls stand in the corner and

Their judgments fly.

 

Half held truths

Debase the morning sky and

 

Silence screams in my eyes while

Cut grass fragrance pervades my thoughts.

 

When will it all come together?

When will it stop?

 

The quiet death

Underwrites my soul while

 

Soft subtle shapes

Shift and take me with them.

 

And when the shapes settle, the past becomes the one and only

Place where I can breathe.

 

But I can’t go back there and all else has failed.

Why did you come back? just to leave again?

 

Why?  Did you forget to take something? I can’t imagine what

There is nothing left.…