Impossible, Beautiful Dream

Love is

A weighty substance.

 

What is it made of and

Where does it come from?

 

Why is it for one and not the other?

And why can’t we choose?

 

It’s truth and meaning are hidden in mystery,

It’s pain evident in lies and tears.

 

How do we know when it starts?

Is there a moment when one can say “yes, love has begun”?

 

I think there is a warming glow, an inner heat and smoothness

To love’s beginning but

 

When it ends… then want?

I cry for wanting him, he cries for not wanting me.

 

Our grief is an odd mixture of sadness, anger and joy because after all,

Love and hate are just opposite ends of the same emotion,

 

One that can turn on a dime and oscillate endlessly

Between the ends all in the space of a second.

 

When he stood before me that last time, for just those few seconds,

The world around us disappeared and he was all there was.

 

My heart stopped as the magnitude of the reality

Of his absence outside of those seconds filled me.

 

As I watched him walk away, I felt the warmth of my love, my heart’s

Blood, drain through my feet and follow him like a shadow.

 

But he left it in the parking lot,

Unwanted and rejected as he drove away.

 

I saw it melt into a puddle behind him

Where it waited for me to gather it up and take it home.

 

Where did this love for him come from? I don’t know,

If I knew I would send it back as

 

It has not served me well. It was based on a dream,

An impossible, beautiful dream but

 

One that was flawed, and although I didn’t realize it, it never had a chance,

Because he and it were damaged goods right from the start.

2 thoughts on “Impossible, Beautiful Dream

  1. Ok you made me cry with this one. Dreams turned to our worst nightmare. Broken pieces of us laying in the path where it stopped. I’m with you today. I know I don’t want what it turned out to be. But what I thought it was, what I believed naively for so long, I still long for, some days. Today being one of them. Xo Michelle. Much love to you and your broken heart.

    Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s