Category: poetry

Night Shadows

On By MiCoIn changes, darkness, dreams, hope, light, love, love lost, love poetry, pain, poetry4 Comments

 

Sheets of white surround me in

A blanket of feathered softness as dreams of him linger

 on the edge of sleep, my being cloaked in night’s darkness.

Through my darkness, I watch the night shadows drift past the windows,

They have lives of their own, the darkness becomes them.

The textured blackness of night can be comforting in its sameness.

A sameness that frees me from the eyes of judgment.

And as I lie back and watch his image leave the edge of sleep

I feel him join with me in whispered prayers the essence of which lingers on when sleep has fled.

But they are short lived prayers and are consumed by the night shadows to hide in the sameness of the textured blackness

Unanswered, dissolving and alone

Forever.

A Glimpse of Joy

On By MiCoIn changes, courage, dreams, faith, fear, god, growing, hope, light, love, love lost, love poetry, pain, peace, poetry, poetry changes, sadness, seasons, spirit, sweetness, thanks, ZenLeave a comment

 

Wednesday morning musings,

A kaleidoscope of emotions and thoughts.

They flood in like sunlight

Through the clouds,

A glimpse of the crystal blue beyond the gray,

Fleeting but beautiful.

My desire to hold onto that spark, that glimpse of joy,

Is my downfall.

It is not meant to be held,

Not meant to be captured.

To hold it close would be to smother it and

Deplete its joy.

Instead I need to learn to move with it, become part of it

Not as an observer but as a participant,

Only then will I feel the joy inside

Where it was meant to reside.

Hallelujah

Because

On By MiCoIn dreams, fear, heartbreak, hope, love, love lost, love poetry, pain, poetry, sadness, spirit, suffereing, Uncategorized5 Comments

I write what I feel in the moment.

Some moments I want to hurt you, get even with you for damaging my soul, for

Rearranging my view of what is right and poisoning my long held faith in people and in myself,

You had no right, or reason, to do that…

And a moment later,

I want to hold you and

Never let you go.

One moment I feel that maybe some of it was real,

The next I am relieved that you don’t care and never did.

Sometimes I can’t picture your face,

Other times it is all I can see.

My eyes still fill with tears at the sound of your songs,

And my body longs for your touch.

I have met other men,

Some are interested and interesting.

There are days when I think I can,

Maybe it will help.

But I can’t,  then I think

In the dark maybe I could pretend,

See your face instead of his.

But I’m not an actress,

He would know, I would know,

I haven’t the heart.

So the moments of loving and

Hating continue,

Rising and falling.

Heart strings pulled by fate like tides pulled by the moon.

My heart wants to break the rules and tell you

That I want to hold you,

But I am afraid of you, afraid I will be consumed by you,

With no hope of survival as

The surrender would be complete

And “I” would be lost, forever…

These moments of love and not continue to oscillate as

6 weeks turns into 6 months,

Into 6 years, into a lifetime of memories,

And loss and missed chances, of dreams and hopes unfulfilled

Yet profound in their potential tenderness.

So sadly, in the peace of early morning silence, I accept and understand that my heartfelt connection to you across the vastness of time and space

Is the only part of the “us” that never was that will forever remain.

 

 

My Heart and Me (re-post, originally posted in March, 2015. One of my favorites.)

On By MiCoIn changes, darkness, faith, heartbreak, hope, love, love lost, love poetry, pain, poetry, sadness, suffereing, sweetness, Uncategorized5 Comments

What is it with my heart?

Doesn’t it understand?

I said I was done.

I can’t have what I want and need.

Besides, he is no good for me,

He just used me and threw me away.

So what about all that doesn’t

It understand?

There seems to be a separation,

Me from it, just as my thoughts are from the inner me.

A disconnect,

It has a mind of its own.

“I’m not going there,

I can’t take any more”, I told it.

“Oh yes you can” it tells me,

“You want him, you need him…you know I’m right”

“NO, I can’t… it hurts too much”, but my heart just shakes its head and laughs.

Why doesn’t it listen to me!

Why doesn’t it stop?

Why can’t I stop it, it is mine, after all, shouldn’t I be in charge?

But when I try to take charge, it beats and cries

And slams itself against the bars.

It threatens to stop, to skip town

And leave me behind.

“But I can’t follow you any more”, I tell it,

“You are not to be trusted”.

But still it doesn’t listen and takes me where I shouldn’t go

And then leaves me there alone.

It runs away with me to magical places

That only exists in its mind and makes me hope and want.

And when it is time to come back to the real world,

When the wanting and hoping haven’t worked yet again,

It cries and pleads to stay in the arms of magic,

It doesn’t want to go home, doesn’t want to give up.

And as I drag it along, kicking and screaming,

It curses me for my neglect and disbelief.

So I have to explain yet again that we can’t win, can’t have what we wantand so

Together, my heart and me, we go home, and mourn and cry and hope and dream,

And hold each other tight,

But we never give up.

Serendipity

On By MiCoIn changes, god, hope, light, love, nature, peace, poetry, spirit2 Comments

 

Serendipity – an intricate woven web of guidance.

Guidance offered – but unknown by the unconscious.

 

Open your eyes, partake of the details.

Notice the unnoticeable, take in that which is un-takeable.

 

Acknowledge the hidden gifts that surround you.

Be a willing participant in the story.

 

Let the unnoticed notice you.

Let the world share its beauty with you and share yours with it.

 

Let the story become yours as it was meant to and then,

Step out if it and watch!

 

It is waiting, now, now, now…

Are you willing?

Early Morning Silence (Noble Silence Retreat at Aryaloka Buddhist Center in Newmarket, New Hampshire)

On By MiCoIn Buddhism Meditation space, candles, light, love, poetry6 Comments

 

 

As I await the bell, a flood of emotion and

Excitement fills me.

 

The potential for connection is just ahead,

Each moment a possibility for fulfillment.

 

Hours feel like minutes in the predawn darkness and

Black widows look down on me like all knowing eyes.

 

Buddha’s face, illuminated by candle flame,

Comes to life, filling the room with his essence.

 

At 5:30, a procession of sleepy souls makes its way

Up the creaky stairs and each takes its place in rows of blue.

 

There are yawns from the now familiar faces and heads of tussled hair

As we each fade slowly into ourselves and become one in silence.

 

The next few hours are punctuated by a creaking floor, the shuffles of re- positioning bodies, and hungry pre-breakfast tummy growls.

 

We all appear to be different people on the outside but inside

Our humaneness enables us to share a singular mindset and a connected purpose.

 

When the sitting and silence is done, we will move back into our individual lives richer for the people we have met and the silence we have shared.

 

 

 

 

Curtis Field In Summer

On By MiCoIn earth, faith, growing, hope, light, love, love poetry, nature, peace, poetry, seasons, sweetness2 Comments

Birdsong and morning sunlight,

Waves of grass, swaying in unison.

The melody of life and light

Plays across the field.

Heated mist rises in currents of song

And murmurs in harmony.

The field holds its life close,

An entire universe in a blade of grass.

Life teams in layers from dirt to dawn,

Root to crown.

A place of abundance

Well hidden.

Come, sit with me,

Get up close and watch.

Feel the warmth,

Embrace the sweetness.

Hold the magic in your soul and my hands in yours and

Be, just be.

2/15

He Understood

On By MiCoIn darkness, dreams, faith, god, growing, hope, light, love, love poetry, poetry, spirit, thanks10 Comments

 

When I stopped talking to God,

He stopped talking to me.

 

When I stopped listening to him,

He stopped listening to me.

 

He is not spiteful,

Just  honest.

 

When I blamed him for my circumstances,

He shed a single tear in eternity and was sad for my choices.

 

When I was angry with him for a death,

He understood.

 

When I questioned his reason for my being, He sent inaudible words of encouragement into the lonely darkness of my soul, words only I could hear.

 

When I pulled my hand from his grasp, He stood back and quietly waited for my return with infinite patience.

 

And when my errant ways finally did lead me back to him,

He treated me as if I had never left.