Category: sweetness

Whoever He Is

On By MiCoIn changes, courage, dreams, faith, hope, light, love, love poetry, poetry, sadness, spirit, sweetness, symphony, Zen9 Comments

Sad loneliness surrounds me, who will fill my heart

My soul, my body and how will I find him?

 

I am at home today, spending quite time alone

Watching the winter white fill the forest.

 

There is a pot of beef and barely soup

Simmering on the stove,

 

Skies waiting outside the door

And wine chilling in the snow.

 

This could be a wonderfully sensuous and

Loving day but instead it is tainted by loneliness.

 

I have no one to share it with,

The man I love and want isn’t who I thought he was,

 

He is not interested and so I sit at my desk alone

Thinking…

 

How will I find him again?

Will it be real this time?

 

I need him to hold me, come ski with me

Share a bowl of fabulous soup and

 

Sip my wine,

The sweet wine of love for two.

 

So the afternoon rolls on

The soup perfuming the air and Bach filling my soul with beautiful notes.

 

If only he would come to fill my heart,

Whoever he is…

The Joy of Simple Solitude

On By MiCoIn candles, darkness, dreams, faith, hope, light, love, love poetry, peace, poetry, seasons, spirit, sweetness, thanks, Zen11 Comments

The joy of simple solitude where

There is no risk to my heart, and no chance for destruction of my soul.

 

I can trust myself here,

I’d never do those things to me.

 

I love the solitude of evenings spent in front of the

Wood stove, reading and writing where there is

 

No one to answer to and

No one to betray me.

 

I am safe with just the beauty and silence of winter’s cold

And darkness for company.

 

I feel a silent peace from the holiday lights sparkling

In my windows and the feeling of

 

Love’s glow coming from

Within.

 

My peace is what I will make it to be,

Warm, safe, beautiful and right.

 

It is all I need for now,

This joy of simple solitude, however,

 

I am not fooled —

There is nothing simple about it.

One Can Only Hope

On By MiCoIn courage, heartbreak, hope, love, love lost, love poetry, pain, poetry, sadness, suffereing, sweetness4 Comments

The white-hot anger

Has begun to fade.

 

It is fading to an

Orange glow

 

A perpetual reminder,

A caution flag.

 

Reminding me to beware

To stay strong and protective of my heart.

 

I am still in shock

Shocked and dismayed over his

 

Ability to deceive, manipulate and then

Attempt to justify his actions.

 

He claims to accept responsibility but it what way?

Does he apologize?

 

Does he express remorse or compassion

For the hearts he has destroyed and crushed, hers and mine?

 

No, he turns the situation into a dramatic opportunity, an excuse to project himself as a victim, a victim of his own deceptions.

 

He texts me and she in the dead of night to call us angels and

To tell us he would die without our intervention.

 

As if we and everyone around him exist solely for his

Benefit, again, as always, it is all about him.

 

The level of his hypocrisy and continued self-delusion

Is staggering.

 

He seems to think we can protect him from himself.

It is a sad and deluded state in which he exists.

 

The other woman, the one he lead me to believe was a psycho bitch, is in

Actuality a lovely and loving beautiful soul.

 

He says there has been drama with her in their past

And now that I know his truth and see what he really is

 

Any drama that may have occurred is totally understandable.

If his guitar had been available this weekend, I would have run it over with my truck!

 

The irony of this situation

Astounds me.

 

His cries in the night for love and acceptance no longer

Move the hearts of the two women who truly do love him.

 

His lies and manipulation have destroyed

What he wanted and what we were willing to give to him.

 

This situation has drained both she and I physically and emotionally.

So my new friend, it is time to put it and him away.

 

Time to try and fill his space in our hearts

With other joys, joys that will not disappoint and betray us.

 

Be kind to yourself and fill your life and heart with all that you love and

All who love you and I will try and do the same.

 

Hopefully we will both soon find other hearts willing and able to love and cherish ours

In a way that he is incapable of.

 

I feel sorry for him but sorry in a strong way, not as a weakness that will enable him

To ease his way back into my heart, soul and bed.

 

Sorry in a way that will allow me to feel compassion for him

And his sorry state of being,

 

In a way that will allow me to be hopeful that someday he will understand himself and

Will stop trying to manipulate those around him and will just let things be as they should.

 

A time when he will be comfortable enough within himself and love himself enough

To truly be able to love another.

 

A time when he will recognize and accept with an open and true heart the

Joy he has spent a lifetime looking for and will understand and see that

 

It is a joy he has already been given by a number of good and kind women but one he

Has betrayed each and every time.

 

Maybe that knowledge and truth will prevent him from doing it yet again,

One can only hope.

 

 

Candlelight, Soft Love and Raindrops

On By MiCoIn autumn, candles, darkness, dreams, earth, garden, heartbreak, hope, light, love, love lost, love poetry, nature, pain, poetry, sadness, sweetness5 Comments

I hear the rain in the early morning darkness,

It’s sound muffled by the closed windows and leaf blanketed forest floor.

 

But its soft sound is enough to keep me awake,

Awake and day dreaming of happier times.

 

Of times when the sound of the rain brought sweet contentment and thankfulness

For its life giving qualities to my mind.

 

A time when it was summer’s refreshment,

And the garden sang in gratitude for its warm sweetness.

 

But now, as I sit here on my bed at 2:00 am, alone in this November darkness,

The droning on the roof only serves to remind me of our separateness,

 

Our aloneness and isolation, one from the other,

With the sound of the rain our only connection.

 

This simple connecting sound brings me to thoughts of him and

I picture him in his room,

 

Lying beneath his white down comforter,

While the rain drops roll in rivers down his bedroom windows.

 

The rain’s sound is amplified by the sloping eves of his bedroom ceiling where the soft flicker of candle light dances.

 

The memory of the warmth of his body lying next to mine takes my breath away.

I can feel his long lean limbs, light but strong, wrapped around me in complete trust

 

As together we sleep as one, our separateness abandoned and replaced by a union of warmth, safety and love.

 

But slowly my day dream fades and reality comes seeping back to me in my empty bed and

The sound of the rain outside my window becomes the sound of my tears.

 

Although the scene in my mind fades away into the darkness of this November night,

My thoughts stay with him.

 

And as I try once again to lose myself in the healing peace of sleep

I become aware of the missing sound of my heart beating in my chest.

 

It seems my heart has left me and has chosen instead to stay behind in my day dream with him.

But I don’t feel betrayed or upset with its abandonment for

 

I cannot blame it for wising to remain in the sweet memory of candlelight, soft love and raindrops, I understand – it is my wish as well.

The Cold Light

On By MiCoIn hope, light, love, love poetry, nature, pain, poetry, sadness, spirit, suffereing, sweetness3 Comments

The early morning silence speaks to my soul.

It calms my heart and lets my mind wander back to a warmer time,

 

A time of love and light. But as the dawn draws near,

The night’s soft callings fade and take my sleepy hope with them.

 

As the horizon brightens, my heart, that was held close in sleep,

Stretches and yawns back to wakefulness.

 

A wakefulness to the reality of losing him again,

And the pain and longing is felt anew.

 

If only night’s magic and sleep’s

Fantasies could survive the cold light of dawn.

Dreaming – a poem written by my lovely daughter, Chelsea! Such talent, such a lovely young woman :)

On By MiCoIn autumn, dreams, love, nature, peace, poetry, seasons, sweetness4 Comments

Dreaming

The air is crisp and biting as it travels down into my lungs.

I hear the trees’ bare limbs creak and whine in their icy blankets.

The ground is cold and hard where the grass once tickled my toes.

I savor the brief few minutes of sun that warm my naked face.

I miss the smell of dirt and the sound of rustling leaves…

I miss the sound of heavy booted feet on rocky mountain paths…

I miss the long awaited cool breeze on a hot summer day…

I miss bird song, thunderstorms, and roasting marshmallows on the campfire…

But Spring will come again as it always does,

The sun will shine and the snow will melt,

The ground will soften and grass will grow,

The trees will wake and grow their new leaves,

But for now,

It is silent…

Everything is sleeping…

Waiting….

Wishing…

Dreaming of Spring…

Be Amazed

On By MiCoIn changes, courage, dreams, faith, god, hope, love, nature, poetry, sweetness, Zen2 Comments

Notes of soul,

Words of flesh,

The sound of time is

Love expressed.

Chants whisper to me

As their cords of light infuse my spirit.

The names of God swirl in silent eddies

And drain through the fibers of my heart

Where traces of love are

Caught and linger.

The universal love holds no space or time

It is all and nothing.

Come my love, hold my hand and

Sing with me the names of God in love and watch

Watch and be amazed as the magic unfolds again.

Let Me In, Please

On By MiCoIn dreams, hope, love, poetry, sweetness16 Comments

I want to touch your face and

Trace the bridge of your nose.

 

I want to run my fingers around your

Ears and eyebrows.

 

I want to outline your lips with my finger tips,

Those soft luscious lips.

 

Your songs sing in my heart,

And play in my head at daybreak.

 

But you are not impressed by my love.

You are unmoved by my soul.

 

And yet I persist, my heart leaves me no choice.

Maybe one day yours will open and let me in.

 

I want to take nothing away.

I want to soak in your soul,

 

Feel your breath mix with mine,

Hold your heart in my hands,

 

Run my finger tips over your body,

And sip the sweetness of your love and fill you with mine.

 

Would that be so bad?