It Waits

It waits with patience hands

Outside our knowing, waiting to be let in.

Its story is always the same,

Its truth dependable but not always what we want to hear.

There is no hypocrisy, no deceit in its soul.

It is the soul that fills the void, that encompasses the eternal.

It exists in rhythms of time, tides of dependability,

Cycles of freedom and seasons of hope.

It can be ignored, but never escaped and so it waits,

In beauty and joy, in bliss and acceptance, in love and peace,

For us to wake up and realize it is but a mirror of ourselves,

The face of our existence, the light in our souls,

The essence of our being

Before we were born.

Wind

Stunted trees

Bend and cower from the wind.

Its Winter howling is incessant.

Its cold all pervasive.

The mountain side Bearberry brambles

Grip tightly to the glacier scarred rocks for safety as the wind

Flows in rivers of the sky

From the White Mountains to the sea.

It feels its way with outstretched arms

Solid and real, over a

Path that is well worn and familiar into the valleys

And river beds along the way.

The power of the wind pushes the sound of thunder ahead of it

And Carries the storm clouds on its back.

It washes over the landscape

In partnership with the trees.

It is a force that can move them to dance,

Shake them to their roots, and love them with its allover touch.

Mountains and trees diminish the wind.

They sap its strength with their reluctance to let it go.

They want to hold on, to experience its freedom and lightness

They yearn for a chance to throw off their earthly chains and soar above the land.

But in the end, at the last, the sea is the master leaving

The wind no choice but to rush into its out-stretched arms, to be consumed by the waves,

To become one with the spray, white with its foam,

And in the crashing of the wind powered waves on the shore,

Release its energy back into the realm from which it came,

Completely the cycle once again.

 

Love’s Lessons

 

Life’s lessons come softly in the

Darkness before dawn.

Like leaves emerging in silence,

Unfolding in trust.

A trust that  love

Is real and the unfolding worth the risk.

Although risk is sometimes all there is,

The risk of loving is pain but the risk of not loving is also pain.

My belief in love, trust and tenderness is strong in my soul.

It is the tenderness that lingers in the last kiss goodnight,

In the full moon’s sliver puddles on the bed sheets at midnight,

In the early morning’s sweet touching and

In the smile that wears the knowing of that early morning touch

All day long.

I have come to know and understand that life’s lessons are love’s lessons,

Sometimes harsh in their honesty but always right when spoken in truth.

A Play of Stillness

 

I sit on the stage.

Darkness surrounds me.

The audience, if there is one,

Is silent.

There are no props on the stage

Only layers of black curtains.

I don’t remember auditioning for a play,

But here I am.

It’s odd there is no music or

Other players.

I sit in my darkness for what seems like forever

But there is still no sound, no movement, no life.

Just stillness and a mild sense of confusion.

I feel the space in front of me more than see it.

I sense it is there, curtains in a circular shape

A boundary perhaps but between what and where?

The other side is unknown and unknowable

Until the show begins.

But will it begin?  Still no script or players,

No music or lights.

I run my hand through my hair to prove to myself that

I am still real in this sensory deprived place.

But what is real about an empty stage, a wordless play,

A playerless story?

I begin to realize that

None of those things matter.

All is stillness and non-separate.

The “show” never begins and never ends.

The circular curtain and empty stage contain eternity

And this space is an empty place within me.

There will be no play, no script,

No lights, no audience.

This story is mine, the darkness my stillness,

The only witness, me.

Just me as part of the universal consciousness

Acting out a play of well-rehearsed lines without ever saying a word.

Each player a part of the whole

Never separate from the others.

All joined in the cosmic drama

Of existence.

The curtain rises on one story, one actor, one consciousness

In an act that never ends.

Just Look

I saw the stars last night,

Didn’t even have to get out of bed.

They were so bright in the cold, dense,winter air

That they shown right through my lacy bedroom curtains.

I saw it as a reminder of what is still there and always will be,

And to find it yet again,

We just have to look through the holes one more time.

I Am Sure

 

Revelations come to me when I least expect them unwanted, but insistent that I listen.

They are the kind I don’t want to know and  don’t want to hear.

But they come anyway .  Maybe to clear the way,

To open my  heart and eyes and speak the truth to my soul.

But they are hard truths to take.

My heart says no, but my head and soul say “Yes, listen and know”.

My heart is a child, trusting , self-deluding and innocent.

My soul aches for her in her time of pain and sorrow.

Love is not only felt by my heart, my soul loves too.

But my soul  is blessed with a stronger constitution, a greater consciousness, a better understanding.

 It is older and wants to protect my heart, wants to spare her from pain but knows it can’t.

So it warps itself around my heart and holds her while she weeps and sleeps.  It knows that time will heal her and is patient in the waiting time.

My soul knows my heart is good and kind and that she loves unconditionally and breaks because of it.

My soul knows that my heart knows no other way to love so it waits and loves and holds and protects with gentle hands and the love of God.

Together, in time,  we will love again,  all three of us,

I’m sure of it,  my soul told me so.

Because of Him

 

Gratitude for the smallest 

Becomes gratitude for the eternal,

Because the eternal exists in even the smallest of things,

Like a baby’s smile, a milkweed bloom, and crystal blue winter skies.

An autumn leaf, falling softly and quietly,

Releases its life full of gratitude willingly in a celebration of color,  it knows.

It is the smallest of things in my life that cover me in warmth and

Feed the fire of my gratitude with love.

I am thankful for sunrises and sunsets,

The defining moments of each day’s beginning and end.

I am grateful for my children and grandchildren and friends –

All manifestations of God.

Even the light in the eyes of the the wild ones of my forest home

Shines with the spirit of the heavens and the intimate knowledge of Krishna’s grace.

And when I am in danger of forgetting these things, these perfect and beautiful things,

something as simple as seeing my clear glass canning jars, standing in a sparkling row,

Can bring me back to myself, to my home,

The home I hold deep within, the one that holds the essence of me.

It is my gratefulness that fuels my passions for the loves in my life, from acorns to hummingbirds

Grasshoppers to lightning storms,

Soft kisses at midnight,

And sweet love in the morning.

I am grateful to exist in a flood of grace and love.

Grace that is endless and effortless, and love that is freeing and all encompassing.

My heart is full and my smiles are because of him.

Hari Om

All Are One In Him

 

He exists in the space between

The particles of my being.

The internal space in my heart that holds his love

Is infinite.

I hear him in the silence and

Stillness of the Now.

I feel him in the pause between

My in and out breath.

His smile lights my dreams

As his hands take mine and lead me to a place of love and peace.

His life force powers every cell in my body. I know it is so as

I feel it traveling in waves through me with each breath I take.

He speaks to me and holds my heart in the stillness of the night

And brings hope for the new day with each morning’s light.

He has absorbed my fears, anger and sorrow into

His very being and holds them dear for me and from me.

I no longer have to dwell in the past or

Speculate about the future as all are one in Him.

My gratitude is all encompassing

And my love for him limitless.

He is my Lord.

Hari Krishna

My Heart Has Been Reborn

 

My heart now knows and feels that

Which my mind can only dream of.

This change in attitude has produced

A change in my reality.

Losing that burning anger has

Opened the doors to peace and

My emotions have taken on a new life with

A fresh perspective.

What once was clouded and dark

Now is clear and shines with an inner light all its own.

My old thoughts are powerless against me,

Their negativity replaced with the beautiful truth I see in his silent smiles.

In truth is found respect.

My perception of what was has shifted and

True compassion has filled the once painful void in my soul.

That which I saw in anger

Now is tempered by a flood of loving kindness.

So, the sting of the cruel mother’s words, the hurtful ex-husband, the heartless lovers of the past

Has faded and softened into acceptance,

An acceptance of the frailties and humanness of being human.

The unintentional infliction of pain and betrayal has lost its power to hurt and linger now that

My eyes see with a new light.

It is the light of amber afternoon love, of kindness, beauty and strength.  A deep, deep love without conditions —  as God meant love to be.

So now I can relax and just let it be.

Let it all unfold as it should and must, and be what it may.

I finally understand that my wanting and needing are just more obstacles in the way of just letting what is meant to be… be.

Please be patient with me love, my heart has recently been reborn.

Frozen in Faith

Garden statues in the dark are

Emotions frozen in time.

They are profiles of love in stone

Whose souls touch in the night while

Shadows hide their truth.

Earth turns the statues away from the night and towards the sun,

Always chasing its light and warmth

In an endless journey from light to dark

And back again while 

Heart statues stand, emotions frozen in time as

Profiles of love frozen in faith.