The Ballet of Life

 A play of light and shadow.

Bodies move and sweep emotions into being.

The interplay of physical and emotional strength portrays a

Man and woman connected in dance as in life and love.

Two bodies move as one in response to

The primordial rhythm of existence.

The two become one in spirit and flesh as

The opposites of each other.

Their hands and hearts glide together

Joining the masculine and feminine in an endless dance of love and power.

He shares his with her and she hers with him and

The dance becomes a battle of love, a flow of exquisite pain and destroying joy.

For to love for loves sake,

To flow together in the dance of eternity,

To believe in the union of man, woman and music

Is to become one with the ballet of life.

 

Because of Him

 

Gratitude for the smallest 

Becomes gratitude for the eternal,

Because the eternal exists in even the smallest of things,

Like a baby’s smile, a milkweed bloom, and crystal blue winter skies.

An autumn leaf, falling softly and quietly,

Releases its life full of gratitude willingly in a celebration of color,  it knows.

It is the smallest of things in my life that cover me in warmth and

Feed the fire of my gratitude with love.

I am thankful for sunrises and sunsets,

The defining moments of each day’s beginning and end.

I am grateful for my children and grandchildren and friends –

All manifestations of God.

Even the light in the eyes of the the wild ones of my forest home

Shines with the spirit of the heavens and the intimate knowledge of Krishna’s grace.

And when I am in danger of forgetting these things, these perfect and beautiful things,

something as simple as seeing my clear glass canning jars, standing in a sparkling row,

Can bring me back to myself, to my home,

The home I hold deep within, the one that holds the essence of me.

It is my gratefulness that fuels my passions for the loves in my life, from acorns to hummingbirds

Grasshoppers to lightning storms,

Soft kisses at midnight,

And sweet love in the morning.

I am grateful to exist in a flood of grace and love.

Grace that is endless and effortless, and love that is freeing and all encompassing.

My heart is full and my smiles are because of him.

Hari Om

The Day I Died

 

It’s hard to remember all the details of the day I died.

It’s mostly just a blur now.

Guess it really doesn’t matter,

But I think it was a Thursday…

A cold and cloudy late fall Thursday afternoon,

Windy and gray.

Cold, strong winds buffeted my little house while 

Trees danced together above the skylight.

The wood stove was blazing across the room.

Its smoke blew by the windows on gusts of northern winds.

Fall’s blazing colors had already faded to the browns and grays of late November and gangs of dry leaves blew across the yard gathering in wood’s hollows and house corners.

No song birds were left behind, the only sound a murder of crows that had gathered on the edge of the clearing, watching, waiting … did they know?

My afternoon tea was steaming on the table beside me as evening shadows grew longer preparing to swallow my cottage in darkness.  Night was coming on earlier and earlier as late autumn made its way closer to winter.

I had gotten up to put another log on the fire and then rearranged myself back in my fireside chair, ready to read, when it began …

At first it was just a familiar sleepy feeling but as the feeling deepened, I realized something was Different; the slowing was within me, deep within, not of this time or place.

The trees continued their dance but now in slow motion silence. 

The crackling of the stove became faint and far away.

What my eyes took in no longer mattered,

And feeling my heart beat stop had no effect on me.

My breath had slowed to a stuttering sign as I felt the me inside

Float to the surface and leave this plain of existence.

I passed into another realm,

The veil between the worlds having been lifted for my entrance.

I cannot accurately explain what I saw and felt as

It is not of this world or this mind set to understand but

They were all there, the “they” I wanted and needed.

My being became wrapped in love and acceptance, a total eternal acceptance.

All pretenses were stripped away and time ceased to exist.

I never wanted to leave and rejoiced in the knowing that I would never have to as

All endings had been left behind.

It’s all still just a blur,

Guess it really doesn’t matter

But I think it was a Thursday…

In Shared Seclusion

 

 

A field of brown grass,

A drop of chilly dew,

A morning kissed ripe apple, and

A bursting milkweed pod…

Signs of the change of seasons and an

Elevation of my consciousness.

Summer has ended.

It has shed its past and faded into isness

But it’s an isness that is charged with the now.

At the change of seasons, there is a new definition of me.

One that shifts with the sun angles and holds my spirit in kindness.

It is a newness in me that ebbs and flows with the tides and moon cycles.

That builds on the new life essence that captures my attention

That fills my heart and soul.

An essence of change, of new life, of new beginnings from old endings.

It is a change that envelopes my being and carries me along with it.

A flood of truth and trust, a deluge of emotions and warmth.

My heart misses the summer season but my soul is alive with the contentment of the coming winter.

A sheltered silence in seasonal separateness

But all together just the same…

In shared seclusion.

All Are One In Him

 

He exists in the space between

The particles of my being.

The internal space in my heart that holds his love

Is infinite.

I hear him in the silence and

Stillness of the Now.

I feel him in the pause between

My in and out breath.

His smile lights my dreams

As his hands take mine and lead me to a place of love and peace.

His life force powers every cell in my body. I know it is so as

I feel it traveling in waves through me with each breath I take.

He speaks to me and holds my heart in the stillness of the night

And brings hope for the new day with each morning’s light.

He has absorbed my fears, anger and sorrow into

His very being and holds them dear for me and from me.

I no longer have to dwell in the past or

Speculate about the future as all are one in Him.

My gratitude is all encompassing

And my love for him limitless.

He is my Lord.

Hari Krishna

My Heart Has Been Reborn

 

My heart now knows and feels that

Which my mind can only dream of.

This change in attitude has produced

A change in my reality.

Losing that burning anger has

Opened the doors to peace and

My emotions have taken on a new life with

A fresh perspective.

What once was clouded and dark

Now is clear and shines with an inner light all its own.

My old thoughts are powerless against me,

Their negativity replaced with the beautiful truth I see in his silent smiles.

In truth is found respect.

My perception of what was has shifted and

True compassion has filled the once painful void in my soul.

That which I saw in anger

Now is tempered by a flood of loving kindness.

So, the sting of the cruel mother’s words, the hurtful ex-husband, the heartless lovers of the past

Has faded and softened into acceptance,

An acceptance of the frailties and humanness of being human.

The unintentional infliction of pain and betrayal has lost its power to hurt and linger now that

My eyes see with a new light.

It is the light of amber afternoon love, of kindness, beauty and strength.  A deep, deep love without conditions —  as God meant love to be.

So now I can relax and just let it be.

Let it all unfold as it should and must, and be what it may.

I finally understand that my wanting and needing are just more obstacles in the way of just letting what is meant to be… be.

Please be patient with me love, my heart has recently been reborn.

A New Day

This is a day to walk away from what was

And begin anew.

A new life, a new hope,

A new light and home,

A new season, a new feeling,

And sometimes a new beginning from the old.

 A time to rebuild, renew and remold –

Myself.

In these beginnings there exist endings.

Some welcome, some not.

What I thought was, wasn’t and

What I thought was done, was not.

But now there is a mellowness, a warm light,

A subtle joy in these changes as

I sense a grace in my thoughts, a softening of my soul,

A warming of my heart,

A fullness of my being and

A richness in my life.

This new now brings me peace, gratitude and

Strength, along with an acceptance of what is,

The ability to let go of what was as it is gone,

And to think not of what may be as that is yet unknown.

And so with faith I will rest in the arms of the now and hold dear against my chest,

Like the tiny body of a baby, my heart and watch its pain and sorrow melt away and

Drift with the tide out to sea,

Comforted by the light and love of the full moon.

At last I can rejoice in the here and now

And hold close the loves in my life without fear.

I will fill my soul with gratitude for this new peace and

Begin each day with love for the miracle it is and

The joy that these new beginnings bring.

Hari Om

Sweet, Sweet September

September’s muted sunshine and billowing clouds

 Speak of a change to come, a change already begun.

In soft subtle shifts of afternoon shadows and heavy morning dew laden grass,

Autumn makes its arrival known.

Summer slides sleepily away, the heat having worn her out

As the freshness of fall takes her place.

Meadow grasses turn brown

And Goldenrod losses its shine.

Milkweed pods bust open, trusting their future generations to the wind and

 Flocks of geese gather together to finalize their flight plan.

In the subtle softness of September the world is poised for transition.

There is no harshness to September…

The cold biting winds and freezing temperatures

Are saved for November and the first dusting of frost for October.

September exists to give us a gentle push towards winter,

While reminding us from week to week and sometimes day to day of what we will miss

 Until spring arrives again and the earth warms, the geese return and

 The faith of the milkweeds is fulfilled.

Frozen in Faith

Garden statues in the dark are

Emotions frozen in time.

They are profiles of love in stone

Whose souls touch in the night while

Shadows hide their truth.

Earth turns the statues away from the night and towards the sun,

Always chasing its light and warmth

In an endless journey from light to dark

And back again while 

Heart statues stand, emotions frozen in time as

Profiles of love frozen in faith.

Changes

Changes are not always positive

Or swift.

Some drag, leaving behind a trail

Of sorrow.

Some move quickly, leaving no time to dwell

In the past.

Some changes are painful but for the better.

Some are just the way it is, neither good nor bad.

We decide which way to go, to let go

And move on or stay stuck, resisting the change.

I don’t know which is harder to do….

I think it depends in a large part on the nature of the change…

Change happens with or without my permission.

Me and you are not the same people we were just moments ago.

The cosmos has reinvented itself a thousand times in the last ten minutes.

So change is common, a fact of life and existence so why do our

Human situational changes sometimes linger

Beyond what they should and so become more important than they really are?

Even a change brought about by me is hard to handle.  It is a step away from what has been and a step into a new future, a good future, a better place within me, yet unsettling nonetheless.

And although change is inevitable, there are consistencies in my life for me to lean on and appreciate in the face of change…

Tomorrow will still come, the sun will rise and shine through my soul and soften the pain that still lingers.

The hoots of the owls in the forest outside my window will strengthen my heart as morning turns to day and the thoughts in my head turn towards the goodness and excitement of the life changes before me.

In spite of uncertainty, these changes are good.  The dark past has settled and sunken to the bottom of my soul where it will always remain, never forgotten, but will no longer be able to hold me captive in its cold grip.  It’s and his falseness and deceptive nature have been fully exposed and rejected.

So the change that has come is the right one.  It is long overdue, and although still painful, it is welcome.

My heart has changed, my livelihood is about to as well after which I will embark on a journey into an unknown future where I will accept whatever may come in this moment.

I will turn my focus inward where things can and will change for the better for me and all those I love…. everyone.