Wind and Chi

This field, our place of wind and chi.
Big sky – distant mountains and
wind, always the wind
pushing the chi into our souls,
filling every cell of our bodies
with its energy.

We were together.

But now… he is gone….
and I am left here alone.
The silent soft sadness surrounds me and
when my body can hold no more
seeps from my fingertips and
the corners of my eyes.

In despair I sit, just sit with
my hands and feet in the grass,
my head in the clouds and
my heart in his hands.

This place, this field, is a crack in the veil
between the worlds
where the bodhicitta flows.

The Earth’s life force that exists here swirls like smoke around my feet
and echoes in the bird song
that fills the spaces between the trees.

Sun light is filtered in ever changing
dappled patters as the wind ripples
the grasses in waves that travel through this wind-chi place.

His essence lingers in this thin place and
even after so many years have passed,
it is here, but only here,
that I still feel him beside me.

I hear his voice on the wind,
see his smile in the bird song, and feel
his love in the sweet softness of the grass and
whispers of the evening mist.

When I am here, time moves slowly and
each moment osculates freely in this place
of wind and chi
where forever is cradled in the
blooms of the milkweed.

In memory J

Soft Heart Magic

It exists in the space between heart beats.

In shadows of trees on the sidewalk.

In the moment after the flash

and before the thunder.

In the distance between the words,

I            love              you.

It hovers between joy and heartache.

It flows through memories of

Now and then, here and gone, alive and not.

But it never dies, just changes it shape

To fit the time

The place,

The broken heart.

Never Let Go

Seashells and wave echoes

Swirl and laugh in the emptiness behind my eyes.

I have let it go, sent it away,

Opened the lock and set it free.

This open space is vast, quiet and soft.

Wave echoes roll around the edges of my inner space

And blend with the stillness that never stands still.

There is a flow and a wash to this interior space.

A space that holds it all and more.

More me, more us,

All together in the vastness of love and peace, so come,

Kick off your shoes and dance with me.

Listen to the song of the seashells and watch,

Watch the empty space fill with us and more.

Catch the wave echoes when they come around again but

This time, this one last time,

Never let go.

Holders of Stars

I have joined my sisters and retreated.

Back and back to the very beginning,

Not just my beginning but yours, ours.

Back to when the sacredness of women was honored.

A time when it was known and valued that women were

The givers of life and holders of stars.

Society has changed over the years, but in our hearts there remains

An understanding of the continuity of our original place and purpose.

We know that we are not in or of this world

But exist in our eternal beingness.

We are awake and are coming back to claim our rightful place.

The past is remembered in our collective consciousness and it is with renewed Courage and strength that we again dance in the forest,

And the forest dances in us.

Once more the mountains and ocean belong to us,

And we to them.

Our renewed story is a recognition of our eternal story.

It is the story of our connection to the divine,

Not one limited to any certain place or time but a story for all eternity.

The same eternity that resides in a milkweed bloom, a bird’s egg,

A baby’s laugh, and our hearts.

And although our voices remain soft and gentle, we will no longer be silenced.

We are not done with this world and

The writing of our collective story will never be finished

As it has no beginning or end.

Our time is now and together we will step out of time one by one and

Rejoin our story where we were forced out of it years ago.

We are still the givers of life and

The holders of stars.

Sacred women once more,

As one voice and mind.

Together again and always.

Epic Love

That epic love, the one we can only know in our deepest heartspace, the one that remains in secret just below the surface, always.  The one we don’t speak of, ever…

It is a love other women of deep emotion and passion will understand as they have felt it too.

That one where all the signs and signals said beware, stay away,

But you didn’t, you couldn’t.

It was the Cinderella fantasy come to life.

A love too good to be true,

And was.

But it remains a time and a love that will stay in your heart and at the edge of your mind forever.

One that brings tears in the present but fond, soft and gentle memories in the future.

A love that was never meant to last, there was too much passion.  It was too intense and raw to be maintained for long.

It came into your heart like an avalanche of emotion, a storm of lust, a tide of love to overtake your Being and then just as violently as it came, it was gone, leaving you lost and heartbroken. 

But in spite of all the pain, it changed you for the better into a woman who felt a love she will never forget, never imagined was possible and will never repeat.

But then, if you are honest with yourself, you knew from the beginning that it was never really yours to keep,

Didn’t you…

I’ll Save Your Place

The doors and windows are open wide and welcome

The wind as it blows through my house and my soul.

It brings a beingness of light and truth, peace and love, disguised as wind.

Trees sway in its beauty,

Souls sing in harmony with its truth and

The unconscious void is filled with its one love.

I know that the empty void from my past existed only in my mind.

My mind was deluded and swayed by the ways of the world but now,

I am neither of the world nor in the world as

The world is in me and you and you and you…

There is no separateness in our beings but great diversity in our humanness,

As it should be, as it was meant to be. The contrast is beautiful.

“Between the silence of the mountains and the crashing of the sea, there lives a land I once lived in and he’s waiting there for me” Moody Blues

So… will you meet me there, in the silence of the mountains, in the void of fullness, in a world of our own making

Where the wind blows its truth into our souls

And surrounds our hearts with love?

If I get there first, I’ll save your place.

Will you do the same for me?

His Words

Some words are hard.

Their sharp edges slice and leave

Smooth slippery cuts, deep and painful.

Some words are afraid.

They bend and give,

And slide away in the heat of the moment,

Too weak to last and too shy to stay.

Some words are bitter

And stay bitter long after they are spoken.

These bitter ones are hard to accept as they are often spoken in anger.

They are vile and spiteful and

Cling and control and hurt without end.

Some words are strong.

They can be good or bad, right or wrong,

Truth or lies, it doesn’t matter as

Their strength alone makes them believable.

Some words are soft and warm,

They heal and hold, love and give,

And are too often mistaken for weakness.

But the most important words remain silent.

As when speaking the greatest truth, there is no need for words.

No hard or soft ones.

No bitter or strong.

And even the soft and lovely can be left behind.

So leave them all behind and let your soul speak the truth with your actions and heart,

uncluttered by words and their convoluted meanings.

Learn to live in that place where the universal language of love and peace speaks in silence,

The place where we all are one in His light and love,

Where sorrow is left behind, words of humankind have no power or meaning and

Love is all there is.

Words are way overrated.

9/2/18   Happy Birthday Lord Krishna, Hari Om

 

 

Darkness

The stillness of the night air

Hangs heavy outside my window.

Its darkness threatens to come in,

But my reading light keeps it at bay, and

Although the light is bright, drips of silent night

Sneak in around the edges of my window sill

And puddle on the floor by the curtain hem

To remind me of the darkness that lurks just outside

My window

And my heart.