The day ends in a
Summary of sunshine.
The drifting clouds
renew our hopes and
As we walk together in the evening breeze,
My hand finds yours.
The softness of shadows and illusions of magic at twilight
Remind us that although the road is long and sometimes difficult,
Our love, left to itself, will always bring us home,
each to the other.
Lavender moonshine seeps in through my window,
Loves softest color.
Silent passions smolder and
Our heart felt connection grows.
I have no need for words,
He already knows.
His eyes see through me to my soul and
Mine through him.
There is no need for others
When we are all there is.
My heart is warmed by his soul,
My body by his hands.
I need nothing more than this love
nothing more.
So different, yet the same,
So loved and missed equally.
Why, why be given
Just to be taken back.
Better to have loved and lost?
I cannot agree.
The ghost lingers in my mind
in my soul, in my heart.
His kindness and wisdom overwhelming.
His leaving not his choice.
His love, his kisses, his arms,
heaven.
His soul vibrant and alive,
Curious and seeking, the seeker found.
His knowledge given freely but
A troubled spot existed.
What to do, how not to hurt,
how to have it all, never realized.
Taken to spare the pain of decisions ?
Possibly, but taken to soon.
Forever missed – missing what was and what
could have been.
His ghost lingers , will never fade
Will always reside in my soul.
And then the other, the spirit,
He resides in my soul as well.
My choice, not his.
He loves but doesn’t
He comes and goes
Is mine, is not.
Each day brings something new.
His love is passionate and wonderful.
I ask for nothing in return.
He may not have it to give.
He is troubled in his soul,
Tries to hide, tries to love.
Conflicted and searching.
A beautiful soul tormented, he draws me in and pushes me away.
But in spite of it all, I love his tormented soul, his powerful sexuality,
His grace and projected kindness.
But I sense frustration and darkness within him.
I could help if he would let me.
And so it continues, he comes and goes,
loves and doesn’t, wants and needs but rejects and has a place in my soul forever
A ghost and a spirit reside within me and yet sadly,
I will remain forever alone.
What to write about besides love…
I am sitting and thinking…
Trying to find something but nothing else is quiet as interesting.
Sometimes I wish that were not true, but I know that it is.
Wanting and dreaming,
Hoping for him, all of him.
But what of everything else?
Does anything matter as much?
Does anything else make me feel like this?
Other things and other types of love matter, of course, but nothing is like this.
He tells me I should try to expand
My idea of love, he tells me my idea of love is too narrow,
Too defined by romantic love, He says
I need to count all the other love I am surrounded with
All the other kinds of love, not just
The man/woman love, the couples love, the romantic love.
I know he is right and I do value the other loves
In my life, my children, my friends,
My past loves and family but that kind of love is not the same,
For me not the same kind of love at all.
To give myself to him, not just emotionally but
Physically is overwhelmingly beautiful and
So very powerful. It is a physical expression of the depth of feeling
And trust I have for him, like nothing ever before, a complete surrender.
There is no need to hold back, no judgments.
All that I am I share with and give freely to him.
But then again maybe I should expand my definition of love, maybe I need to include something less than this love, less than this physical attraction between he and I but,
I don’t think I can. For me, at least, nothing less will ever do.
Summer evening sadness
Music and sand dunes.
Lonely sunsets and
Warm breezes
Stir my soul and
dry my tears.
But they return unbidden
To drownd my thoughts
In memories of you,
Your voice, your depth of soul.
The sweet music, your music, your songs, your essence
drift by in silence filling notes.
I close my eyes and I can feel you, smell you
taste your lips against mine.
We are one in the softness of a
summer evening.
The softness of a love so deep
we can only glimpse its beginnings.
A depth so vast only
God can see, we are not strong enough.
I feel your soul rest in mine
In the summer moonlight.
One soul complementing the other until
there is no other, only one.
Come to me my love, let the freshness of the summer ocean
clean our souls and erase the spaces between us so
Love and light is all that remains. I love you –
do not go to that place without me, my heart would break.
Instead, echo my love, my thoughts, my words.
Take my hand and lead me to your heart soul
and love me there, please. We have no beginning and
no end so hold me and
Remember the times of summer evening sadness, music and sand dunes.
I have hopes and dreams of love.
With no pressure, no confinement.
How can I make him understand and trust?
How can I convince him to truly believe and feel safe?
I want him, I need him, I love him.
I don’t want to pressure, or expect.
I want to be open and welcoming, a friend of his soul.
Truly wanting in a good sense, truly loving all of him.
I don’t want to assume or
Make guilty.
I don’t know what the future brings.
I don’t know what it holds for me or him,
But I believe in our time together, a time with
No demands or ties – except any we choose to freely give.
I know love will flourish under these conditions,
Love for its purest sake, in its most intimate beauty.
Not for maintenance, or show
Not for convenience, or selfishness
But for itself.
A love to share in those most special moments together.
A part of a full life, he to his and
Me to mine, separate but in harmony.
Always with our special time and place of coming together.
Our private place of passion and warmth which may be limited in time, but never in scope.
A time I wouldn’t trade for anything,
I need nothing more.
A love affair in its truest sense,
In the way it was meant to be for him and me.
Maybe not in the traditional sense but in our way.
Our hours of love, of heart, of heat and passion.
A commitment to our friendship, to our way of loving.
To our hearts, in our time, in our love, in our giving, one to the other.
Not meant to be understood by anyone else, not meant to be rated or judged.
Only for us, only for us.
To die into life,
A concept I can feel once again.
The leaves rustle in the wind and
Flowers grow and bloom in beautiful colors, they know how.
The sun rises and fuels life and
God rises and fuels love.
I can feel myself within each leaf,
Within every tree as part of its soul, its being.
A massive explosion of summer, a season of rebirth.
The land bursting forth with the love of life.
Every inch of earth covered.
Activity never ending.
Creatures of the dark, creatures of the light,
all working together, all encompassing.
I feel myself in each one of them,
some sightless under the earth, some soaring above.
The large and the small, all components
Of creation, all within me and I within them.
The forest is reaching out to me,
welcoming me home, embracing me with vibrations of spirit
The waves of acceptance have returned and
The separateness that has clouded my heart for three years is gone.
We all reside together as one and
I am thankful all is as it used to be, as it should be.
My cats’ eyes are alight with the knowing,
And the earth smiles in agreement.
Love lost is so sad
No matter the reasons.
No matter whose fault or no fault.
We were two people,
Two people who loved in our own ways
maybe different ways,
one from the other,
but a bond existed and
grew just the same.
And then it ended, not as either of us
Expected and not in a good way but with an honest “mistake”.
An ending just the same
with pain that went both ways
and cut just as deeply
coming and going.
An then it was done, no words left to speak
and tomorrow came and the world went on
unchanged but for the fact that it was a little lighter on your side,
the side where my heart used to be.
Hazy, hot summer,
Trampled feelings.
Sweat and sweets,
A mix of pleasures.
His hands are magic,
His soul smolders.
Light and dark play out in
Him and through me.
He takes me there with him
But I don’t know how to get back.
So he leaves me there to flounder
And want, to wade, to sink.
The water is too deep,
The price I have to pay to steep.
No longing is enough,
No fulfillment is right.
The end always comes,
But doesn’t’ last.
Each time it changes,
This different than the last.
This simpler but less
In some ways.
The passion is the same,
Everything else is not.
Can passion be disconnected
From the rest?
For some it is,
But not for me.
And so I flounder and sink,
Wade and struggle.
Some days my head is above water
Some days not.
But I stay, wait out the flood
Look for the way back, and finding it
Come home to rest, to start again
To follow him always, the passion never dies.
Trust and not.
Abandonment, not fair.
Why am I punished again
For their mistakes?
For their inability to love,
To care, to be.
So much trouble,
Not worth the effort.
Or is it? I don’t know,
How will I know?
Will it change and become
Or stay more of the same.
More of the same seems
To be the means and ends.
More time spent in sorrow
Than in joy, must mean something.
A game, with no winners,
A love with no losers.
A pain with no beginning
And no end.
A familiar story,
A heart breaker.
But not mine,
My story is different.
The heartbreak starts my story and
The end never comes.
I don’t want it to,
But it has to.
I need
I want
I cannot wait any longer
The time is here
But I am not ready and so
The story continues.
heartwordsforpoetry 