To Start Again

Hazy, hot summer,

Trampled feelings.


Sweat and sweets,

A mix of pleasures.


His hands are magic,

His soul smolders.


Light and dark play out in

Him and through me.


He takes me there with him

But I don’t know how to get back.


So he leaves me there to flounder

And want, to wade, to sink.


The water is too deep,

The price I have to pay to steep.


No longing is enough,

No fulfillment is right.


The end always comes,

But doesn’t’ last.


Each time it changes,

This different than the last.


This simpler but less

In some ways.


The passion is the same,

Everything else is not.


Can passion be disconnected

From the rest?


For some it is,

But not for me.


And so I flounder and sink,

Wade and struggle.


Some days my head is above water

Some days not.


But I stay, wait out the flood

Look for the way back, and finding it


Come home to rest, to start again

To follow him always, the passion never dies.

14 thoughts on “To Start Again

  1. As always, beautifully expressed. Sometimes the destination is worth doing repeated attempts. There is no fight that cannot be won if we stand up just one more time, than the times we have been knocked down. But sometimes, the win is not worth it and its better to let it be. I hope you are doing fine. Take care 🙂


    1. Thank you, I am trying.. if it could be won by standing up one more time I would do it in a heartbeat, my love for him is almost ridiculous but I don’t think my heart can bear being knocked down again, so i sit with my sorrow and hope .. thank you for your kind words i do appreciate your concern as well. Namaste Michelle

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hello Michelle. Always remember you do not sit only with the sorrow and hope. There will always be people who live to see you smile. And your readers are always there to listen. Have a Sunday full of smiles 🙂


  2. It is beautifully written, it is impossible to make sense of…. I’m trying to just accept what can be given to me freely, without demand from me. It seems, actually, when I made this position known, I was given more because there was no one pulling at him, it was his to give or not. But I don’t know if it will last. Time will tell. It just got too painful to want more than he was ready to give. Love and light, it’s a hard road, and wears on you for sure.


  3. Elizarose Nicolas

    I nominated you for the Real Neat Blog Award! I listed your site in my entry Real Neat Blog Award Q&A @ 🙂


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