Hearts change.
They weep and bleed,
Hide and seek,
Drift and settle, and
Love and leave.
They hurt and heal,
Give and steal,
Forgive and forget,
And forget and forget and then
Forget to forget and
Try,
Again…
Tag: love
The One that Became the Last
The sky is happy to hold you,
While the earth and I still mourn your leaving.
They say that time heals but all these years have not healed my heart and
The emptiness of your absence remains strong within me and here in this place,
Although this field where I stand remains the eternal now
As it was when you and I walked here together.
The scent of its grass brings my heart and memory back to you every time and
Makes me wonder if the flowers blooming here remember our footsteps and loving among them?
I visit here often and breathe in the scent of this place and remember what it held for us, just you and me, and then I hide behind that memory’s peace where my heart is soothed, but only for just a while.
And at sunset, sadness returns again to dampen the grass and hold still my heartbeat in that remembrance.
Yet despite the passage of time and depth of my sorrow, this place appears to be unchanged
From when we walked its paths together, hand in hand as if we had all the time in the world.
But when I look deeper, I know it is unchanged on the surface only and, like me,
Still holds its breath and waits, and sighs and wonders why…
Why does the sky get to hold you so close while it and my heart long for your footsteps,
The sound of your voice, the scent of your skin, and the light of your smile?
The answer never comes and as
The sun sets and the horizon grows dark
And takes you away from me, again,
I wonder…
Do you remember the first time?
The one that became the last?
Soft Sadness (April 2015/with edits)
The silence of midnight is
The silence of wanting.
It is dark and lonely.
A time soft with sadness
Until the memories sneak back in
and bring with them a scent, or a look
And it is almost enough, almost
But not quite.
I know I will long for that touch
That voice, that look,
Until once again he comes back and turns the silence of longing
Into loving.
A time when my sorrow will be erased by his touch,
His hand in mine and
His kiss will fill my sole like
A light in the darkness.
Yet again…
Still,
I know, as I have all along that
The darkness will return and
He will never be mine to keep.
Loneliness at Dusk (re-post from 2015)
He is still here at times, but in body only
His soul has left me.
I miss him most at dusk, when the day’s work has ended
And evenings past times have yet to begin.
Those times in our past when dinner was cooking in the kitchen and
Warm light filled the house.
When before dinner we would walk hand in hand through the
Gardens, across the fields to the edge of the wood
Where the songs of night
Drifted in from the forest and filled our senses.
The essences of early evening,
A feeling more than a time wherein.
We were love and completeness.
We would finish our dinner in the kitchen and
Take our wine to the porch and watch as
The last light faded from the landscape while
The sun’s glow lingered in the treetops.
Evening deepened and the world stopped spinning.
All was calm, all was quiet. And when the hour was late,
We would climb the stairs together and
Sink into our inviting bed.
He always began by sliding his hands over my body as
An expression of his love.
I could feel the heart of his passion
Against my lips.
As his smoking soul ignited the
Fire in my heart,
We would come together in light and love.
The passion almost too much to take as
He whispered words of love and lust in
My ear and held my body and life together in his arms.
It was at those times that my soul threatened to spill out of my body
And wash away in the heat of the moment,
But his strength held it back
Covering it with his love, protecting me from myself.
And each time, as the lovemaking ended and his body
Lay hot and limp on mine,
I would look into his eyes and know,
Just know, that the world, our world, was as it should be.
In that moment I had no darkness to fear, no sadness to run from
Could feel no distance between us in the night.
Instead, the darkness was comforting in its
Completeness, the totality of its effect sealed our fate each and every time.
But in spite of the lust, the passion and heat, in spite of
A love that felt as if it transcended time and space
There came a change.
A change that for me meant an emptying of hopes, an end to dreams, and the pain of knowing that after all the sincerity in the darkness,
It was just a lie and my love would never be returned.
And so it remains a love, a hope, a memory and a dream held only by one
Struggling to survive in a lonely bed at dusk.
His Words
Some words are hard.
Their sharp edges slice and leave
Smooth slippery cuts, deep and painful.
Some words are afraid.
They bend and give,
And slide away in the heat of the moment,
Too weak to last and too shy to stay.
Some words are bitter
And stay bitter long after they are spoken.
These bitter ones are hard to accept as they are often spoken in anger.
They are vile and spiteful and
Cling and control and hurt without end.
Some words are strong.
They can be good or bad, right or wrong,
Truth or lies, it doesn’t matter as
Their strength alone makes them believable.
Some words are soft and warm,
They heal and hold, love and give,
And are too often mistaken for weakness.
But the most important words remain silent.
As when speaking the greatest truth, there is no need for words.
No hard or soft ones.
No bitter or strong.
And even the soft and lovely can be left behind.
So leave them all behind and let your soul speak the truth with your actions and heart,
uncluttered by words and their convoluted meanings.
Learn to live in that place where the universal language of love and peace speaks in silence,
The place where we all are one in His light and love,
Where sorrow is left behind, words of humankind have no power or meaning and
Love is all there is.
Words are way overrated.
9/2/18 Happy Birthday Lord Krishna, Hari Om
Eternity
As our story unfolds,
It fades from light to dark and then back again.
It is a story sung in words, his words set to music,
Yet it becomes wordless, becomes just another telling of a tail.
A tail steeped in joy and sorrow of two
Passing in the night.
A love story never ending yet
Always over
Again, and again and again…
Darkness
The stillness of the night air
Hangs heavy outside my window.
Its darkness threatens to come in,
But my reading light keeps it at bay, and
Although the light is bright, drips of silent night
Sneak in around the edges of my window sill
And puddle on the floor by the curtain hem
To remind me of the darkness that lurks just outside
My window
And my heart.
This Moment
Its movement, stillness.
Its language, silence.
Its heart full.
Its soul empty.
Travel with it.
Its always the same
Yet ever changing,
A changeling in time,
Out of time and
Empty, yet full
With infinite possibilities.
Forever one,
Alone but never lonely.
He Understood
When I stopped talking to God,
He stopped talking to me.
When I stopped listening to him,
He stopped listening to me.
He is not spiteful,
Just honest.
When I blamed him for my circumstances,
He shed a single tear in eternity and was sad for my choices.
When I was angry with him for a death,
He understood.
When I questioned the reasons for my being,
He sent inaudible words of encouragement into the lonely darkness of my soul, words only I could hear.
When I pulled my hand from his grasp,
He stood back and quietly waited for my return with infinite patience.
And when my errant ways finally did lead me back to him,
He treated me as if I had never left.
A Picture in Sound
The music drifts through my soul
Of its own accord as
A sound remembered in feelings.
Melodies bring it back and
Emotions hold it in place.
In the softness of remembering,
His arms still encompass my heart,
His words still hold my soul and
I am swept away once again.
A cascade of feelings,
Triggered by a picture in sound.
heartwordsforpoetry 