Tag: love

Turn the Page

On By MiCoIn love, poetry2 Comments

My soul sister posted a quote recently which read,

“There comes a time when you have to choose between

turning the page and closing the book”

An interesting concept, which choice will I make?

To do both is not possible; to do neither is not responsible.

The book cover is heavy, hard and cold but like the inside of the story,

The page is light, fragile, and forgiving.

The cover traps the future and the past within, between the front and the back while

The spine, the soul of the book, holds it all together in silence.

Once the book is closed, there is no turning back, anything left unfinished is buried,

It is too late, no recourse, just the blank stare of the title looking back from the cover.

And what if there is no title, does it mean there was no book,

No story told?

The other choice, to turn the page, is a gentler action, one done with softness

And kindness, an action of action but not of finality.

No demands or judgment, just the presence of mind to acknowledge that a change is due,

A new way to see, a deeper way to love, physically and emotionally.

An ending of sorts, but not really,

More a shift in perspective, a new beginning together.

The book cover is heavy, cold and dead but turning

The page allows change, nothing need be left undone or unspoken and no one left unloved.

I have made a choice. I am not ready for the heavy cover,

I will not close the book, end the story; bury him away between the beginning and the end.

No, my heart won’t allow it;

My soul won’t accept it, so instead

I will gently turn the page, I will rewrite, edit and proofread the lines. I will work on developing the characters and plot, but I will always keep the subject and love intact,

Because the story of my heart cannot be rewritten,

And the song of my soul can only be sung by him.

Noble Silence

On By MiCoIn Buddhism Meditation space, candles, darkness, faith, heartbreak, hope, love, poetry12 Comments

This silence, a noble silence of

Candles and Buddha.

Three nights, three days

Hours of silence, hours of sitting.

Heaven in bowls of homemade soup and crusty breads.

Food to nourish our bodies as this place nourishes our souls.

The bells welcome morning and

Breakfast nourishes in silence.

A retreat from ordinary life,

No jobs to do, no one to take care of except ourselves.

A beautiful place surrounded by

Beautiful people, soul sisters and brothers.

We are like-minded, but are on our own journeys.

As Shawn so rightly said, “no one can do your path better than you”.

New friends with old ideas,

Each their own but each the same.

And so I sit, just sit and be

I try to keep my mind still.

Sometimes it is,

Sometimes not.

A sinking feeling, sinking into my soul

Into that space behind my eyes that truly sees

I see it in fleeting moments of bliss

Nothing to hold onto, nothing to catch.

Hours pass by in seconds, other times

Seconds are hours.

Bells signal the beginning and ending

Three to start, three to stop.

Sometimes the end comes too quickly,

Sometimes too slowly

A moment can last forever

Or disappear in a heartbeat.

It has left a lasting, life changing impression

Am I brave enough to take these steps?

Do I know which way to go? I think I do and

If I am honest with myself, I will.

I have to take this chance, nothing will change

Until I make the choice.

If I do, in six months I’ll be fine

If I don’t, in six months it will still be the same.

Seems so wrong to have to pay this price again,

So wrong to have already lost before I even started.

So I will sit, alone in my mind, alone in my heart

And ultimately alone in my soul.

I need to return to the place of Noble Silence

And let the stillness dry my tears and harden my heart.

It is the only way to survive,

The only way to be.

Who I Am

On By MiCoIn faith, family, hope, love, poetry, spirit18 Comments

I am a woman,

A real woman.

Finally one with who I am

Not who anyone else wants me to be.

Mother, daughter, grandmother, friend, sister, lover

All aspects of the same me.

I know what I can take and

When to say “Enough!”

When to be still, when to move

When to love, when to protect.

They are my choices to make, mine alone and

My chances to take as well.

I have enough love for the whole world and

Dreams to match.

I am wise in so many new ways,

Ways I never knew existed.

The transition from girl to young woman

To the me of now has been a hard journey.

I no longer need, now I know and feel and treasure what and who is.

This recent shift in perspective has been life changing.

I know what I don’t want and what I

Will not put up with ever again.

I am a mother to everyone and

A servant to none but God.

I am a sister to my friends and will stand by

And with them for all time.

It takes a special man to handle the love of a real woman,

A woman of strength and passion.

I am thankful to have finally met such a man, I am his lover and his alone.

My love for him is not controlling or imposing, it is freeing and glorious, as is he.

“Come my love, come share in my journey, as I will share in yours.

Take my hand and walk with me, I will not let you down, I promise.”

It has taken me 60 years to find this place in myself and now with him.

I can finally shut off the voices in my head that would deny me this joy.

They are self-defeating voices carrying left over pains from the past, a past

Best left behind, not ignored and stifled but learned from and then put to rest.

I can now assert and live my right to be who I am, who I’ve always been,

From the beginning of time and now, thankfully, for all time to come.

My Child-Self

On By MiCoIn family, hope, love6 Comments

Sad little girl,

Come, sit with me.

Let me hold you, dry your tears,

Kiss your sweet little face.

I know you are hurt, I understand, I see her,

I see how she is, how she treats you.

Come and sit close, you can trust me,

I will protect you; there is no hurting here.

I know you are too little to understand, and

Too innocent to see the shame and fear she holds inside.

All you know is the pain of her betrayal.

I know and see how hard you try to please her, yet still she is hateful and mean.

I hear her tell you daily that you are not good enough, are funny looking and how she wishes she had never given birth to you.

I see and feel your pain and frustration, and

It breaks my heart to watch this happen to us.

I have learned and grown while you have waited and now the time has come

For me to come back in time to you, to a time when we were one.

Look for me and don’t be afraid, come close and I will read you a story,

I know she never did.

I will hold you like my baby and sing your sorrows to sleep,

She didn’t know how.

I will show you that you are better than good enough, and

I will prove to you that there is nothing wrong with you, in spite of what she said.

You will never be alone again,

The wait is over.

Trust me my child-self,

I have enough love for both of us, I pinky-promise.

This Moment

On By MiCoIn love, poetry11 Comments

This moment, this one

Precious moment.

Like no other,

Only you and me.

At this second, no one

And nothing else matters.

All sound is blocked from my mind,

All I can hear is your voice.

My eyes can focus only on you; my body feels only your touch,

All else fades away.

My soul fills with your presence

Your strength and your love. Nothing can compare.

In this moment, we are all that exists,

We have no need for anything else.

Space shrinks to the size of your room

And the universe is contained in the pupils of your eyes.

The eternal truth resides in your touch and

I can hear the harmony of the heavens in your sighs.

In this moment we are aware and know that there is no heaven

No hell, no past, no future,

Just now, just you, just me.

Timeless, all consuming, beautiful and right.

This Love

On By MiCoIn faith, family, love, poetry2 Comments

This love, at this time of life, is

Heartfelt, body-love, we have learned and grown.

There is no restrictive need, just a loving want.

I don’t need anything more.

I don’t expect you to fix anything or change.

I want to hold and love you as you are.

I want no drama, only peace in our knowing,

Our knowing of each other, in love, in lust and in faith.

You have your ways and passions, as I have mine.

They don’t need to be the same, just respected, appreciated and sometimes shared.

This is a mature adult love, smooth and easy,

Hot and beautiful, strong and real.

Not concerned with paying the bills, raising the kids,

Building the American dream.

We are beyond that, have done it all and

While we each treasure the memories, families and the past,

We are now free to have a love that is truly only for us,

It serves no other purpose but to hold our hearts,

Cradle us in its depth and rightness, and

Soothe our souls to bring us joy and peace.

We can take a chance for happiness with the understanding and

appreciation that this love just is.

It truly is.

Grief

On By MiCoIn faith, heartbreak, love, poetry, spirit3 Comments

The grief is still here

It rolls from year to year.

It seeps and flows through my soul and just when I think it has forgotten me,

it comes sailing back in fits and starts and claims my heart for its own.

Sometimes it makes me angry

Sometimes it makes me cry.

I just want it to stop.

I want it to loosen the chains on my heart, but it won’t.

I have met someone who holds a key, does he know he can unlock my heart,

Set me freer than i have been in years?

If he knew would he turn the key?

Sometimes his unknowing makes me angry, as if it were his choice.

“help me” I feel like yelling at him,  “you hold the key”.

but i guess that isn’t fair, not fair to expect so much of him.

He is only human and frail like I am.

But this grief has to end, I can’t do it alone., it is so much stronger than I am.

I believe the depth of the love defines

The depth and strength of the grief.

It suffocates and overwhelms me,

Just like his love did only in opposite ways. Is it a measure of love or loss?

This man, the one who holds the key, where did he come from?

Do I have the ability to unlock his heart as he has to unlock mine?

Can he and I travel this way together, help each other to live and love totally again, or is it too late, too hard, too easy to just quit and give up the dream, settle for less.

NO, I can not quit, I can not give up and let the grief win,

let it hold me down in fear.

I just need some help, can it be done?

If only I knew for sure, if only I knew…

Anticipation

On By MiCoIn love, poetry7 Comments

Anticipation, a sweet, exciting

Thought, a lovely, warm need.

In my mind, I feel his handsome face,

See his beautiful eyes, taste his delicious mouth.

My anticipation grows, it stalks me,

Won’t let me be, makes me want,

Proves to me that I am alive,

Makes me feel like a woman.

A real woman, a complement to this man,

We are the two halves of our one equation.

While I count the hours, the anticipation builds

With expectations of the familiar.

A familiar trust,

A familiar knowing.

I trust in his knowing of me,

He trusts in my knowing of him and

Our equation is made complete.

Alone in the Darkness

On By MiCoIn love, poetry5 Comments

Thunderstorms, candlelight and

Loneliness.

Lightening has taken the light away,

My house and my universe are in darkness.

Candles and lightening flicker

Illuminating a small space around me,

Showing me what is

Possible, but unseen.

The darkness’s flickers of hope

Mirror the hope of my heart.

My love is like the darkens,

It surrounds me,

Envelopes me but shows me

Flickers of what could be.

I have been alone, always,

Or so it seems.

My heart aches for the special connection.

A love to hold my hand in these beautiful times of thunderstorms and candlelight,

And share with me my essence, my joy in all there is,

But I guess he doesn’t want to and I don’t know why…

Oh, I can make it alone.  It is what I know.

But it is comfortable in its dependability only.

The thunder brings the sky to life,

Then returns it to silence.

As he brings me to life when he is here,

And returns me to silence when he leaves.

I need more time, more time to learn to love the right way,

I have tried, I keep trying, but it doesn’t seem to matter.

I don’t know what I am missing,

Just who I am missing.

And so I sit, on this lovely evening of thunderstorms and candlelight,

My hand un-held, my heart still alone, and I don’t know why.

Maybe I should be grateful for small things, at least this time

My love is worth crying over.

Unexpected Loving

On By MiCoIn love, poetry14 Comments

Unexpected loving,

Sensuous and passionate.

He has not forgotten, neither of us can, ever.

Our hearts still beat together, as they should.

Lightening spreads though my soul

at the touch of his hands.

Our kisses complete each other.

Our bodies are once again one,

meant to be together,

no time to waste.

Love lost or neglected is sorrowful,

broken lust, a cold embrace,

but all is not lost, I see no sorrow in his eyes,

no coldness, I won’t allow it in.

There is no time or place for pain,

I will not accepted it.

We are together in body and soul

And it is good, so very, very good.