A Glimpse of Joy

 

Wednesday morning musings,

A kaleidoscope of emotions and thoughts.

They flood in like sunlight

Through the clouds,

A glimpse of the crystal blue beyond the gray,

Fleeting but beautiful.

My desire to hold onto that spark, that glimpse of joy,

Is my downfall.

It is not meant to be held,

Not meant to be captured.

To hold it close would be to smother it and

Deplete its joy.

Instead I need to learn to move with it, become part of it

Not as an observer but as a participant,

Only then will I feel the joy inside

Where it was meant to reside.

Hallelujah

The Cold Light

The early morning silence speaks to my soul.

It calms my heart and lets my mind wander back to a warmer time,

 

A time of love and light. But as the dawn draws near,

The night’s soft callings fade and take my sleepy hope with them.

 

As the horizon brightens, my heart, that was held close in sleep,

Stretches and yawns back to wakefulness.

 

A wakefulness to the reality of losing him again,

And the pain and longing is felt anew.

 

If only night’s magic and sleep’s

Fantasies could survive the cold light of dawn.

Be Still … Let It Catch You

He seems sad inside, an unhappy place.

There is a war that rages within, the sides are undefined.

His light has to fight to get out, and it turns cold in its struggle.

He is alone but his loneliness is crowded.

There is no room in his heart, it is full of useless memories,

Wasted space, rooms of used feelings, empty promises, broken dreams.

Nothing belongs only to him, just his, only his.

He tries to be universal, but his soul is battered and sore.

He dreams and wants but denies himself,

He holds tight as he pushes away, searching,

Always searching and seeking,

Stop… be still…let it catch you.

I can’t fix him but I can

Hold him and love him while he mends.

Teardrops

Teardrops resting in my eyelashes make stars of the candle flames

That dance before Krishna and Radah.

My heart melts like wax in their presence while

My soul longs for a love like theirs.

I search for the truth in him, I won’t give up, but it remains elusive

And hides behind his eyes.

So I wait and want, love and hurt and cry but

Still it hides.

It has not the courage to tell its story so it stays hidden from me in shame with

Lust its frequent disguise.

My Book

Are you in my book?

My book of stories and riddles.

Chapter after chapter of notes

And songs sung sideways.

Gongs chime in the twilight,

And history rewrites itself.

Clouds slide low and breezes

Stir the stars.

The stars flicker and swirl to the sideways songs and

Ring the gong with their dusty tails.

The chapters crumble in dry flakes

To the ground and fuel the cold fire of my soul.

Happiness lurks just out of reach

Behind woodpiles and hemlock trees.

Night winds turn the pages and

Frozen dew cracks the binding.

Are you in my book, love?

I want you to be.

Tea Mugs and Wine Glasses

Come, sit and sip with me,

The tea will warm our hands, the wine our hearts.

Hold my hands across the table,

Watch and feel my eyes melt into yours.

Your heart hears mine but you pull

Your sweater tight and muffle its cries.

Let it out, it only wants to share

Don’t be afraid,

It won’t leave you for me and mine

Won’t leave me for you, but

They will meet when

Our chests touch and

Their harmonic beauty will speak to us of peace and love and

Lull us to sleep

Among the tea mugs

And wine glasses.

Be Amazed

Notes of soul,

Words of flesh,

The sound of time is

Love expressed.

Chants whisper to me

As their cords of light infuse my spirit.

The names of God swirl in silent eddies

And drain through the fibers of my heart

Where traces of love are

Caught and linger.

The universal love holds no space or time

It is all and nothing.

Come my love, hold my hand and

Sing with me the names of God in love and watch

Watch and be amazed as the magic unfolds again.

November

Scarlet tree branches,

Moon light through naked limbs.

Night is silenced by the cold

And damp forest sleeps.

The songbirds have gone,

Their singing missed by the morning.

Crows caw to the shadowed sun as

Darkness increases its grip.

It is all winding down,

Life and love, slowly seeping into the ground.

The cold silences and subdues,

Its victory complete and all sleep.

The wind speaks to me in this dark time.

It’s howling through naked branches

Reminds me of the power, the life force that

Remains when the sun has pulled back its warmth.

The cold is too strong, to deep to penetrate

It is invasive and complete in its capture.

It holds down life,

Forces it underground to wait.

The cold is not evil, but is

A necessary part of the whole.

Without the cold time there would be no spring,

No return of the sun, no song birds to sing.

The cycles must run, the four corners call

And she who dwells in the heart must be heard.

All is right, all is good, all is as it must be

Should be, is and forever will be.

November