Sitting

Emptiness as fulfillment,

Void of light.

Pleadings of matter

and truth.

An isness only the small

can possess.

We had it, but now it is gone,

It may take a lifetime to get it back.

Fleeting as twilight to dawn and

Heartbeats in the night.

Sounding their worth,

longing for truth and light.

It comes in a shift,

A shift of perspective.

A physical line travels

Across my vision and I am

Transported to another place, to

Another way of being.

The emptiness becomes filled,

The darkness bright.

A space alive with currents,

Crossing and churning.

They bring me to the edge but I have not

The courage to just be, not yet.

The melodies of bliss float

Past my head and drowned my heart in their beauty.

The energy rises from my spine to

The top of my head and erupts, Kundalini awakens.

From the depths of my soul,

The wanting is cloaked in energy and light.

Sounds drift in and out, senses are

Heightened and then dulled.

The truth reveled and at once hidden again,

A puzzle solved and then broken.

I can’t hold on, the more I try

The farther away I am.

It fades with the wanting,

It recedes with the clinging.

The physical line shifts back,

Travels across my field of vision and is gone.

My eyes slowly open and take in

The alter in front of me without seeing.

Buddha sits, lotus candles flicker, Quan Yin holds the vase, and

Jiso waits to bless.

The singing bowl starts to hum on its own, and the

Room vibrates with its energy.

As the vibrations fade back into silence,

The Lotus goes dark and Buddha sleeps.

The emptiness is once again empty and

The light has faded to gray.

But my soul holds back and keeps another small grain of truth

Each time I make this journey.

And the grains will come together and build until someday,

Maybe someday, I will be whole.

A Season of Growth

Translucent fresh green fir branches

In morning angled sunlight.

Winter’s leftovers scattered in

Shaded patches of snow.

Flatten forest litter, autumn’s evidence blended with

The woodland floor, the stage is set for the next act.

Fresh green pachysandra shows first through the

Dried leaves, a promise of the greening to come.

The cool breeze stops for a second and my body is instantly

Warmed by the sun, from the inside out.

The Dark trunks and branches now etched across the sky

Will soon be hidden by a torrent of green to remain

Hidden away until autumn revels the bones.

The roar of the falls is back,

The encasement of ice has melted and the

Water and sound flow freely once more.

Open spring evening windows let in the

Voice of falls and peepers, owls and fox.

It is the sound track of the season of birth and growth, begun in

Earnest almost as if it knows of its time is limited in the cycle of seasons.

A short time of fevered growth, life shared and reproduced.

A lifetime in a season, until the year’s circle revolves and

The long time of quiet, white, rest

Returns again.

Meeting in Darkness

Souls meeting in darkness

And passion.

Sweetness in acceptance, a perfect fit,

The essence of man and woman, as it is meant to be.

No drama, no pretense,

Just truth and faith.

Truth in what we feel and faith

That all will be as is it meant to be.

The night is full and twilight

Is sweet and sensuous.

Morning comes and he leaves, again.

But this time there is no sorrow in parting, as it is only “goodbye, for now”.

I know he will return when the time is right

And the darkness is soft.

His scent lingers in my bed and his hands

Have left handprints of heat on my skin that warm my heart long after he is gone.

There is no place in my life or heart for drama, as I am tired of it all,

There is only room for love and acceptance.

Acceptance of the fact that the time he gives to me and the time I give to him

Will remain ours and only ours forever and

That special, unique part of us that we share,

Expressed in whispered words of passion and caring

Will never be given to anyone else.

It is ours alone, no matter what the future brings.

And so in time, the passion will begin again

And it will be as if it had never ended.

4/21/14

MC

Knowing

Clarity obscured,

Hope turned to faith.

 

Illusions confirmed,

Truth in perceived reality shaken.

 

How can anything be real,

Now that I know.

 

The knowing cannot be deleted,

Like it or not.

 

The duality is gone.

This step forward prohibits two back.

 

I think it is a positive thing,

At least it is supposed to be.

 

But the old saying,

“Ignorance is bliss” sometimes sounds easier.

 

Not as in a way of reality or life,

But as an easier and simpler path.

 

Is the ignorant way really easier or simpler?

Or is that the illusion we are trying to overcome?

 

The illusion fosters a belief in a way that cannot continue to exist,

It is mindless and controlling.

 

The loss of illusion permits mindfulness

And an examination of emotions and thoughts.

 

Often times my mind and soul tire of the

Reasoning and examining and effort it takes to just be in this world.

 

But in the long run, and on a daily basis, I realize that

Mindfulness and deliberation are the only true way.

 

The only way that will take me

To the future and beyond.

 

A path of fulfillment and deliverance

From a world of falsehoods and delusion.

 

4/20/15

MC

Sunday Morning Bach

Sunday morning Bach

Sweet spring sunshine and cooling breezes,

White puffs of clouds drift in crystal blue skies

And birds sing in joy and welcome.

My little deck is my spot,

A haven  of sunlight and windchimes.

A space for me to be, just be and let the words flow in from

Somewhere else, through, and maybe in spite of, me.

Bach flows out through the door and into the forest.

It is a perfect fit and complements the trees and sky.

Echoes with a man’s gift of voice to joy.  The trees know

and resonate in response to this gift. I can feel them.

Geese fly overhead,

Lending their voices to the serenade.

As I sit here, tea cup in hand, sharing this pace with the cats and sunshine,

I can think of no better place to be.

The music fills my heart, the forest fills my soul

With the essence of truth, and

The sunshine fills my dreams with the promise of hope and

A sence that the world is beautifutl, as it is

Meant to be, we need only to look for and welcome in the joy

Hari Om.

Early Spring

Snow is gone but the ground

Still holds its cold.

Warmth in spots, sun showers

Sink beneath my skin warming me from the inside out.

Familiar places return from the

Snows, like crops from the field.

Plants and flower stalks rise from

The ashes of last year’s autumn,

And leaves flattened by winter’s drifts

Stir in the spring breeze and blow in gangs across the yard.

All is in motion, change is in the air

And the earth responds.

The ice comes out of the birdbath in a saucer

shaped disk, embedded with seed husks.

The spring forest greens from the ground up and red and brown catkins

decorate the maple and aspen tree tops.

Even the sound of the windchimes responds to the spring breezes.

Winter’s harsh clanging is softened to a lovely lull of melody.

Oak trees gladly relinquish last year’s leaves to

make room for new buds opening.

As if to say, “Now is the time – the moment has come, embrace the new season

of growth and life until the cycle repeats and winter’s snow returns with the

silence and stillness of ice.”

Seasons Change

The snow melts and earth softens.

Sprouts erupt and the worms awaken.

 

The green overtakes the brown

In slow stages.

 

It sneaks in at the bottom first then

In from the edges.

 

Herbs spring to life

Under cover of dead leaves.

 

Perennials all, they recognize

The season’s changes first

 

And push themselves through the snow.

First to rise, first to shine.

 

A change in seasons has begun, another winter survived

And the hope and promise of spring proves true yet again.

Poetry Man

Love’s music, full of

Softness and peace.

Profound sadness of heart,

But joy in the listening.

Some sounds resonate in my heart and

Are notes to cherish and share.

Oftentimes an opening of feelings long buried.

As much in pain and sadness as in joy.

There is such a short distance between tears

Of joy and tears of pain that

They are sometimes confused,

One with the other.

Music brings out a depth of feeling, unexplainable,

Sometimes foreign, but always familiar.

To be able to make music is such a gift,

One that I surely do not possess!

But he does.  I hold his music close to my heart and feel the

Heartbeat of the music maker.

A writer and singer of soul and heart,

He speaks in sounds, notes rearranged in endless patters

With an ease that belies the complexity of the process.

Words of soul, love in notes, flowing beauty,

Softness of heart, eternity in each heartbeat.

You’re my poetry man, “you make things all-right”

Thank you

Solitary Existence (written in 2012)

My singular solitary existence of

Days filled with unfulfilled hopes, lost dreams.

A resignation of sorts

No expectations = no heartbreaks.

I can’t take yet another chance

No more, it’s not worth it.

Or is it?

Maybe with faith some forgotten hopes can be remembered

Maybe I can still see his face,

Feel his breath upon my neck,

Run my fingers through his

Beautiful silver hair.

The fantasy continues,

Death cannot stop this love.

Death cannot dissolve the truth,

The love, the tenderness.

Death took him from me

I cannot loosen its grip.

Death’s stronghold clouds my vision of him,

Makes it harder and harder to picture his face.

Harder and harder to hear his voice,

Feel his touch.

Death is a selfish thing,

Keeping him all to itself.

Unwilling to share

To let me see and remember.

It tries to convince me that I have lost

That he belongs to it now, but that is just another of death’s lies.

He is safe now, safe on the other side

Behind the vale, the boundary between these two worlds.

Death was only the vehicle to take him across,

It holds no power over him.

He speaks to me of our love

In my dreams.

He causes the wind to blow my hair

Across my face as if to imitate his hand.

I feel his light and strength in the darkness and

See his smile in the sunshine.

Yes, death has cheated me, has taken a part of my soul

Away and left me in sadness.

But its power is only in my letting,

My allowing, my perspective.

I can and will change that and death

Will no longer be a barrier to he and I

And someday I will take his hand once more

And together we will walk through the field,

Smell the milkweed blooms again and rest

In the tall grasses of peace and beauty

And death will have lost its final battle

And we shall be free.

My Pencil

The smell of a pencil

Its feeling in my hand.

A reservoir of countless words,

Ideas yet to form.

Potential in wood.

Just an instrument until it is

Connected to my hand to join with

My soul,  my ideas.

The words come in from

A place I don’t know.

They float around in my head and trail down my arm

into my pencil.

I watch as the words pour out

of the point and fill the pages with my thoughts.

But are they really mine? Does my pencil know from where they come?

I don’t.