Who I Am

On August 25, 2015March 21, 2016 By MiCoIn faith, family, hope, love, poetry, spirit18 Comments

I am a woman,

A real woman.

Finally one with who I am

Not who anyone else wants me to be.

Mother, daughter, grandmother, friend, sister, lover

All aspects of the same me.

I know what I can take and

When to say “Enough!”

When to be still, when to move

When to love, when to protect.

They are my choices to make, mine alone and

My chances to take as well.

I have enough love for the whole world and

Dreams to match.

I am wise in so many new ways,

Ways I never knew existed.

The transition from girl to young woman

To the me of now has been a hard journey.

I no longer need, now I know and feel and treasure what and who is.

This recent shift in perspective has been life changing.

I know what I don’t want and what I

Will not put up with ever again.

I am a mother to everyone and

A servant to none but God.

I am a sister to my friends and will stand by

And with them for all time.

It takes a special man to handle the love of a real woman,

A woman of strength and passion.

I am thankful to have finally met such a man, I am his lover and his alone.

My love for him is not controlling or imposing, it is freeing and glorious, as is he.

“Come my love, come share in my journey, as I will share in yours.

Take my hand and walk with me, I will not let you down, I promise.”

It has taken me 60 years to find this place in myself and now with him.

I can finally shut off the voices in my head that would deny me this joy.

They are self-defeating voices carrying left over pains from the past, a past

Best left behind, not ignored and stifled but learned from and then put to rest.

I can now assert and live my right to be who I am, who I’ve always been,

From the beginning of time and now, thankfully, for all time to come.

My Child-Self

On August 10, 2015August 11, 2015 By MiCoIn family, hope, love6 Comments

Sad little girl,

Come, sit with me.

Let me hold you, dry your tears,

Kiss your sweet little face.

I know you are hurt, I understand, I see her,

I see how she is, how she treats you.

Come and sit close, you can trust me,

I will protect you; there is no hurting here.

I know you are too little to understand, and

Too innocent to see the shame and fear she holds inside.

All you know is the pain of her betrayal.

I know and see how hard you try to please her, yet still she is hateful and mean.

I hear her tell you daily that you are not good enough, are funny looking and how she wishes she had never given birth to you.

I see and feel your pain and frustration, and

It breaks my heart to watch this happen to us.

I have learned and grown while you have waited and now the time has come

For me to come back in time to you, to a time when we were one.

Look for me and don’t be afraid, come close and I will read you a story,

I know she never did.

I will hold you like my baby and sing your sorrows to sleep,

She didn’t know how.

I will show you that you are better than good enough, and

I will prove to you that there is nothing wrong with you, in spite of what she said.

You will never be alone again,

The wait is over.

Trust me my child-self,

I have enough love for both of us, I pinky-promise.

This Moment

On August 5, 2015 By MiCoIn love, poetry11 Comments

This moment, this one

Precious moment.

Like no other,

Only you and me.

At this second, no one

And nothing else matters.

All sound is blocked from my mind,

All I can hear is your voice.

My eyes can focus only on you; my body feels only your touch,

All else fades away.

My soul fills with your presence

Your strength and your love. Nothing can compare.

In this moment, we are all that exists,

We have no need for anything else.

Space shrinks to the size of your room

And the universe is contained in the pupils of your eyes.

The eternal truth resides in your touch and

I can hear the harmony of the heavens in your sighs.

In this moment we are aware and know that there is no heaven

No hell, no past, no future,

Just now, just you, just me.

Timeless, all consuming, beautiful and right.

This Love

On July 31, 2015July 31, 2015 By MiCoIn faith, family, love, poetry2 Comments

This love, at this time of life, is

Heartfelt, body-love, we have learned and grown.

There is no restrictive need, just a loving want.

I don’t need anything more.

I don’t expect you to fix anything or change.

I want to hold and love you as you are.

I want no drama, only peace in our knowing,

Our knowing of each other, in love, in lust and in faith.

You have your ways and passions, as I have mine.

They don’t need to be the same, just respected, appreciated and sometimes shared.

This is a mature adult love, smooth and easy,

Hot and beautiful, strong and real.

Not concerned with paying the bills, raising the kids,

Building the American dream.

We are beyond that, have done it all and

While we each treasure the memories, families and the past,

We are now free to have a love that is truly only for us,

It serves no other purpose but to hold our hearts,

Cradle us in its depth and rightness, and

Soothe our souls to bring us joy and peace.

We can take a chance for happiness with the understanding and

appreciation that this love just is.

It truly is.

Grief

On July 31, 2015July 31, 2015 By MiCoIn faith, heartbreak, love, poetry, spirit3 Comments

The grief is still here

It rolls from year to year.

It seeps and flows through my soul and just when I think it has forgotten me,

it comes sailing back in fits and starts and claims my heart for its own.

Sometimes it makes me angry

Sometimes it makes me cry.

I just want it to stop.

I want it to loosen the chains on my heart, but it won’t.

I have met someone who holds a key, does he know he can unlock my heart,

Set me freer than i have been in years?

If he knew would he turn the key?

Sometimes his unknowing makes me angry, as if it were his choice.

“help me” I feel like yelling at him, “you hold the key”.

but i guess that isn’t fair, not fair to expect so much of him.

He is only human and frail like I am.

But this grief has to end, I can’t do it alone., it is so much stronger than I am.

I believe the depth of the love defines

The depth and strength of the grief.

It suffocates and overwhelms me,

Just like his love did only in opposite ways. Is it a measure of love or loss?

This man, the one who holds the key, where did he come from?

Do I have the ability to unlock his heart as he has to unlock mine?

Can he and I travel this way together, help each other to live and love totally again, or is it too late, too hard, too easy to just quit and give up the dream, settle for less.

NO, I can not quit, I can not give up and let the grief win,

let it hold me down in fear.

I just need some help, can it be done?

If only I knew for sure, if only I knew…

Anticipation

On July 28, 2015 By MiCoIn love, poetry7 Comments

Anticipation, a sweet, exciting

Thought, a lovely, warm need.

In my mind, I feel his handsome face,

See his beautiful eyes, taste his delicious mouth.

My anticipation grows, it stalks me,

Won’t let me be, makes me want,

Proves to me that I am alive,

Makes me feel like a woman.

A real woman, a complement to this man,

We are the two halves of our one equation.

While I count the hours, the anticipation builds

With expectations of the familiar.

A familiar trust,

A familiar knowing.

I trust in his knowing of me,

He trusts in my knowing of him and

Our equation is made complete.

Alone in the Darkness

On July 27, 2015July 28, 2015 By MiCoIn love, poetry5 Comments

Thunderstorms, candlelight and

Loneliness.

Lightening has taken the light away,

My house and my universe are in darkness.

Candles and lightening flicker

Illuminating a small space around me,

Showing me what is

Possible, but unseen.

The darkness’s flickers of hope

Mirror the hope of my heart.

My love is like the darkens,

It surrounds me,

Envelopes me but shows me

Flickers of what could be.

I have been alone, always,

Or so it seems.

My heart aches for the special connection.

A love to hold my hand in these beautiful times of thunderstorms and candlelight,

And share with me my essence, my joy in all there is,

But I guess he doesn’t want to and I don’t know why…

Oh, I can make it alone. It is what I know.

But it is comfortable in its dependability only.

The thunder brings the sky to life,

Then returns it to silence.

As he brings me to life when he is here,

And returns me to silence when he leaves.

I need more time, more time to learn to love the right way,

I have tried, I keep trying, but it doesn’t seem to matter.

I don’t know what I am missing,

Just who I am missing.

And so I sit, on this lovely evening of thunderstorms and candlelight,

My hand un-held, my heart still alone, and I don’t know why.

Maybe I should be grateful for small things, at least this time

My love is worth crying over.

Unexpected Loving

On July 24, 2015 By MiCoIn love, poetry14 Comments

Unexpected loving,

Sensuous and passionate.

He has not forgotten, neither of us can, ever.

Our hearts still beat together, as they should.

Lightening spreads though my soul

at the touch of his hands.

Our kisses complete each other.

Our bodies are once again one,

meant to be together,

no time to waste.

Love lost or neglected is sorrowful,

broken lust, a cold embrace,

but all is not lost, I see no sorrow in his eyes,

no coldness, I won’t allow it in.

There is no time or place for pain,

I will not accepted it.

We are together in body and soul

And it is good, so very, very good.

Sacred Space

On July 20, 2015July 21, 2015 By MiCoIn love, nature, poetry21 Comments

Sacred Mountain Space

A place that calls to me.

Sunlight and blue sky, clouds, mountain shadows

And Hawk’s winged cries.

I know this place from

Another time, another heart.

I showed him the pictures, so much like

Mt. Kailash, he agreed.

Time passed, as did he, no chance to see together

No chance to share as before.

We both knew, as did the mountain, by

It’s stars reflected in the lake.

Mystic longings,

A spirit dwelling

Timeless expanse contained

Between the peaks, a space of knowing

A place of soul, eternal.

A portal to the past and a gateway to the future.

Please, Sri, reach for me through the veil, tell me again what I need to hear

You know this place as I do, I am sitting on the “rock” waiting.

Lift the mists once more and look for me

I will meet you there, I promise

Seeping Sadness

On July 14, 2015 By MiCoIn love, poetry17 Comments

Sadness seeps in and

Covers my heart.

No reason, nothing has changed,

Maybe that’s the reason?

Ceiling fans hum and night moths

Flutter against the window glass.

Sweet violin music floats

Through my room and head

And brings me to a place

Of tears and beauty.

A classic combination that takes me

With it every time.

Please, shut it off, dry my tears

Turn off the light,

Set the moths free.

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Category: love