Category: faith

Noble Silence

On By MiCoIn Buddhism Meditation space, candles, darkness, faith, heartbreak, hope, love, poetry12 Comments

This silence, a noble silence of

Candles and Buddha.

Three nights, three days

Hours of silence, hours of sitting.

Heaven in bowls of homemade soup and crusty breads.

Food to nourish our bodies as this place nourishes our souls.

The bells welcome morning and

Breakfast nourishes in silence.

A retreat from ordinary life,

No jobs to do, no one to take care of except ourselves.

A beautiful place surrounded by

Beautiful people, soul sisters and brothers.

We are like-minded, but are on our own journeys.

As Shawn so rightly said, “no one can do your path better than you”.

New friends with old ideas,

Each their own but each the same.

And so I sit, just sit and be

I try to keep my mind still.

Sometimes it is,

Sometimes not.

A sinking feeling, sinking into my soul

Into that space behind my eyes that truly sees

I see it in fleeting moments of bliss

Nothing to hold onto, nothing to catch.

Hours pass by in seconds, other times

Seconds are hours.

Bells signal the beginning and ending

Three to start, three to stop.

Sometimes the end comes too quickly,

Sometimes too slowly

A moment can last forever

Or disappear in a heartbeat.

It has left a lasting, life changing impression

Am I brave enough to take these steps?

Do I know which way to go? I think I do and

If I am honest with myself, I will.

I have to take this chance, nothing will change

Until I make the choice.

If I do, in six months I’ll be fine

If I don’t, in six months it will still be the same.

Seems so wrong to have to pay this price again,

So wrong to have already lost before I even started.

So I will sit, alone in my mind, alone in my heart

And ultimately alone in my soul.

I need to return to the place of Noble Silence

And let the stillness dry my tears and harden my heart.

It is the only way to survive,

The only way to be.

Who I Am

On By MiCoIn faith, family, hope, love, poetry, spirit18 Comments

I am a woman,

A real woman.

Finally one with who I am

Not who anyone else wants me to be.

Mother, daughter, grandmother, friend, sister, lover

All aspects of the same me.

I know what I can take and

When to say “Enough!”

When to be still, when to move

When to love, when to protect.

They are my choices to make, mine alone and

My chances to take as well.

I have enough love for the whole world and

Dreams to match.

I am wise in so many new ways,

Ways I never knew existed.

The transition from girl to young woman

To the me of now has been a hard journey.

I no longer need, now I know and feel and treasure what and who is.

This recent shift in perspective has been life changing.

I know what I don’t want and what I

Will not put up with ever again.

I am a mother to everyone and

A servant to none but God.

I am a sister to my friends and will stand by

And with them for all time.

It takes a special man to handle the love of a real woman,

A woman of strength and passion.

I am thankful to have finally met such a man, I am his lover and his alone.

My love for him is not controlling or imposing, it is freeing and glorious, as is he.

“Come my love, come share in my journey, as I will share in yours.

Take my hand and walk with me, I will not let you down, I promise.”

It has taken me 60 years to find this place in myself and now with him.

I can finally shut off the voices in my head that would deny me this joy.

They are self-defeating voices carrying left over pains from the past, a past

Best left behind, not ignored and stifled but learned from and then put to rest.

I can now assert and live my right to be who I am, who I’ve always been,

From the beginning of time and now, thankfully, for all time to come.

The Space Within

On By MiCoIn Buddhism Meditation space, candles, darkness, faith10 Comments

The space within, the space without.

Infinite space and darkness, the same.

A warm, soft darkness,

Full and empty, existing and not.

Silence and heart noise

Flow and flux as I sit and feel.

Stable and symmetrical are the

Shadows and light.

The energy I send rebounds from the depths and its

Vibrations shake my soul.

The cushion and candles, Buddha and Quan Yin all

Become one.

My soul and my heart are

Darkness and light together and

Soft winds and tides ebb and flow

As thunder shakes the sky within.

The space within and the space without are the same and blend together,

Only divided by the layer of skin that holds my face.

This Love

On By MiCoIn faith, family, love, poetry2 Comments

This love, at this time of life, is

Heartfelt, body-love, we have learned and grown.

There is no restrictive need, just a loving want.

I don’t need anything more.

I don’t expect you to fix anything or change.

I want to hold and love you as you are.

I want no drama, only peace in our knowing,

Our knowing of each other, in love, in lust and in faith.

You have your ways and passions, as I have mine.

They don’t need to be the same, just respected, appreciated and sometimes shared.

This is a mature adult love, smooth and easy,

Hot and beautiful, strong and real.

Not concerned with paying the bills, raising the kids,

Building the American dream.

We are beyond that, have done it all and

While we each treasure the memories, families and the past,

We are now free to have a love that is truly only for us,

It serves no other purpose but to hold our hearts,

Cradle us in its depth and rightness, and

Soothe our souls to bring us joy and peace.

We can take a chance for happiness with the understanding and

appreciation that this love just is.

It truly is.

Grief

On By MiCoIn faith, heartbreak, love, poetry, spirit3 Comments

The grief is still here

It rolls from year to year.

It seeps and flows through my soul and just when I think it has forgotten me,

it comes sailing back in fits and starts and claims my heart for its own.

Sometimes it makes me angry

Sometimes it makes me cry.

I just want it to stop.

I want it to loosen the chains on my heart, but it won’t.

I have met someone who holds a key, does he know he can unlock my heart,

Set me freer than i have been in years?

If he knew would he turn the key?

Sometimes his unknowing makes me angry, as if it were his choice.

“help me” I feel like yelling at him,  “you hold the key”.

but i guess that isn’t fair, not fair to expect so much of him.

He is only human and frail like I am.

But this grief has to end, I can’t do it alone., it is so much stronger than I am.

I believe the depth of the love defines

The depth and strength of the grief.

It suffocates and overwhelms me,

Just like his love did only in opposite ways. Is it a measure of love or loss?

This man, the one who holds the key, where did he come from?

Do I have the ability to unlock his heart as he has to unlock mine?

Can he and I travel this way together, help each other to live and love totally again, or is it too late, too hard, too easy to just quit and give up the dream, settle for less.

NO, I can not quit, I can not give up and let the grief win,

let it hold me down in fear.

I just need some help, can it be done?

If only I knew for sure, if only I knew…

Summer’s Love

On By MiCoIn faith, love, nature, poetry, spirit, Zen9 Comments

In the abundance of summer

I am astounded and surrounded by life.

 

A time of growth, lush and green

When the Earth awakens and the cycle of life begins.

 

The trees surround me and hang over my house.

Watching and waiting.

 

They watch us scurry about,

Sometimes missing so much in our haste.

 

But the trees know and in their knowing they stand

As silent sententials with green, growing souls.

 

Makers of light, life and breath,

Keepers of the leaves.

 

I sense their souls, and can feel the strength in their roots

Sunk deeply in the earth.

 

They stretch their arms skyward,

In a silent Om

 

And it radiates from their beings, filling the forest

With its vibrations.

 

Birds answer in kind with song,

And mummers of life stir the forest floor in praise.

 

The summer’s love is not wasted on the indifferent,

The forest sees and remembers.

Each leaf and blade of grass, patch of moss, clump of shrubs

And form of life has a hand in building the harmony of nature.

 

Everything has worth, and a role to play

In the chorus of life in love with the earth.

 

The earth sings her love back

In wind and rain, fire and hope and

 

All of creation rests in harmony.

Solstice Sisters

On By MiCoIn faith, family, love, nature, poetry, spirit, Zen15 Comments

Sisters at Solstice

Close in every way.

Tied together by heart strings,

Communing, sharing, boundless souls.

Summer eve’s fire of light and drums brings us together.

We woman are drummers, playing the rhythm of life.

Givers of life, keepers of souls,

Ours and others, together in harmony.

Old friends and new, first and last.

Time is no separator, souls know no distance.

Heart words flow and sage cleans as

we face our fears and hopes, hand in hand.

The vale is lifted,

The curtain swept back.

The darkness is soft and warm

with the fullness of life.

The fire light defines the dark and

our spirit moves freely between them.

Light and dark can not exist without each other,

like tear drops and smiles.

Throughout the evening, our emotions run high and then crash to

the depths and are full of hope and love, happiness and tears.

For we are women of soul, of life

and darkness, of love and laughter and light.

Sisters united in our love of life and love for each other.

Solstice sisters, inseparable, together in life and heart, always.

Sitting

On By MiCoIn faith, nature, poetry, spirit, Zen6 Comments

Sitting here alone, but not

This sacred place, this field of dreams and memories

Where the wind blows the

Wildflowers in waves and

The sun hides behind

The milky clouds and is

Draped in sweet softness.

Blue shadows slip between the trees, as

Om Namah Shivaya drifts from flower to flower

On the wings of a bee.

The tangled growth at my feet

Holds the whole universe in its breath.

Dozens of varieties of life

Bloom together in perfect harmony.

No temple, church or any place of worship can compare

The spirit reside here, it is not just visiting, it belongs.

Services, Kirtans, and Masses serve to honor, praise and worship.

But this place, this existence of perfection,

Sings its own tune

Its own worship in just being.

The creator exposed in its creation.

The essence of God in the unopened milkweed flowers.

The promise and potential of love

for its own sake.

The truth can be no plainer, no more perfect,

No more beautiful.

I sit in witness and feel the grace in the grass, the life in all there is and the peace of this place.

The peace comes to me and from me, and

So I sit and by witnessing become a part of it all,

All I need to do is sit, just sit and let it be.

Summer Evening Sadness

On By MiCoIn faith, love, poetry14 Comments

Summer evening sadness

Music and sand dunes.

Lonely sunsets and

Warm breezes

Stir my soul and

dry my tears.

But they return unbidden

To drownd my thoughts

In memories of you,

Your voice, your depth of soul.

The sweet music,  your music, your songs, your essence

drift by in silence filling notes.

I close my eyes and I can feel you, smell you

taste your lips against mine.

We are one in the softness of a

summer evening.

The softness of a love so deep

we can only glimpse its beginnings.

A depth so vast only

God can see, we are not strong enough.

I feel your soul rest in mine

In the summer moonlight.

One soul complementing the other until

there is no other, only one.

Come to  me my love, let the freshness of the summer ocean

clean our souls and erase the spaces between us so

Love and light is all that remains.  I love you –

do not go to that place without me, my heart would break.

Instead, echo my love, my thoughts, my words.

Take my hand and lead me to your heart soul

and love me there, please.  We have no beginning and

no end so hold me and

Remember the times of summer evening sadness, music and sand dunes.

Lace Curtains and Newborn Leaves

On By MiCoIn faith, love, nature, poetry, spirit, Zen3 Comments

Through my lace curtains I see spring’s newborn leaves.

I listen to the robin’s song outside my window, and it takes me away, back to the past.

My past, a time that was filled with babies and hope,

New beginnings and the beauty of life and family.

Spring was a time of rebirth, a time to celebrate winters long awaited end and

Welcome the bright baby smiles and appreciate the dirty little handprints, everywhere!

A time of fresh air and sunshine, of growing my gardens and my babies.

Those precious little ones with tan lines around their diapers, dirty faces and shining, healthy eyes.

Love and laughter filled my yard

With the truth of place and isness.

And now the years have passed and

My little ones are gown with little ones of their own,

But the process stays the same and the cycle of seasons continues.

Another winter ends and another spring begins:

The soft, warm earth and gardens freshly tilled

Wait to be planted.

All is in flux, the grass greens overnight.

It has been a long time coming; winter was slow to release its grip,

But when the process begins, spring

Races to the finish, there is no time to waste!

A short season, an urgent explosion of

Light, warmth and beauty.

Flowery days and soft evening rains,

The perfect recipe for growth.

Seed packets clutter my house at planting time,

Filling it with the promise of life.

My jean’s pockets are overflowing with torn seed packet tops,

A shower of confetti on laundry day.

Springtime laundry is wonderful, I use the clothesline and watch the sheets and towels

Snap and wave in the fresh baby breezes,

The sun-dried laundry brings the scent of spring to my bed and body,

Soaking me in the beauty of spring’s essence.

As in the past, I am once again the sower of seeds,

But now the grandmother of the new little souls,

The ones with the bright smiles, dirty hands and faces,

And shining, healthy eyes!

The years fly by in a blur and the cycles of life continue.

The seasonal shifts are dependable in their completeness and predictability.

Spring always brings a new beginning, with promise, love and light, just as surely as the robin’s song continues to transport me back to a place, a time and a way of life I will forever cherish.