This silence, a noble silence of
Candles and Buddha.
Three nights, three days
Hours of silence, hours of sitting.
Heaven in bowls of homemade soup and crusty breads.
Food to nourish our bodies as this place nourishes our souls.
The bells welcome morning and
Breakfast nourishes in silence.
A retreat from ordinary life,
No jobs to do, no one to take care of except ourselves.
A beautiful place surrounded by
Beautiful people, soul sisters and brothers.
We are like-minded, but are on our own journeys.
As Shawn so rightly said, “no one can do your path better than you”.
New friends with old ideas,
Each their own but each the same.
And so I sit, just sit and be
I try to keep my mind still.
Sometimes it is,
A sinking feeling, sinking into my soul
Into that space behind my eyes that truly sees
I see it in fleeting moments of bliss
Nothing to hold onto, nothing to catch.
Hours pass by in seconds, other times
Seconds are hours.
Bells signal the beginning and ending
Three to start, three to stop.
Sometimes the end comes too quickly,
Sometimes too slowly
A moment can last forever
Or disappear in a heartbeat.
It has left a lasting, life changing impression
Am I brave enough to take these steps?
Do I know which way to go? I think I do and
If I am honest with myself, I will.
I have to take this chance, nothing will change
Until I make the choice.
If I do, in six months I’ll be fine
If I don’t, in six months it will still be the same.
Seems so wrong to have to pay this price again,
So wrong to have already lost before I even started.
So I will sit, alone in my mind, alone in my heart
And ultimately alone in my soul.
I need to return to the place of Noble Silence
And let the stillness dry my tears and harden my heart.
It is the only way to survive,
The only way to be.