Silver Smoke

Bright blue sky holds the

Silver gray smoke from the chimney.

 

Golden leaves fall in

Showers from the trees and

 

Dry brown leaves dance with each other in circles

On faded green grass.

 

I sit here alone, watching, smelling, seeing and smiling.

A gray squirrel chatters at me from the edge of the forest, what is he saying?

 

The day is getting late and my house now sits in the shadows.

With the sun in my face, I can barely make it out.

 

It’s as if it has blended back into the woods

From which it was made.

 

All that remains is the red chimney, the silver smoke

And the chatterind squirrel.

 

My place in all of this is erased, and unneeded, it will all carry on without me.

The petunias continue to climb over the iron rooster’s back in defiance of my will,

 

Or what they perceive to be my will.

 

I think I’ll go inside now and make more silver smoke.

 

Nowhere To Move To

I start at the edge of the woods,

In the bright shiny green chair.

 

But the sun moves,

Its fast shadow cooling my feet and the legs.

 

Cool air rises to take the sun’s place,

Filling its shadow.

 

So I move, dragging my chair,

Holding my phone and Mary’s book.

 

I sit again, read a few pages, then the

The sun moves and again I drag my chair.

 

My spot I choose by the marigolds doesn’t last either and once again

I move.

 

This time to the red chair by the driveway.

My book and phone follow as I know they will.

 

And now, as I sit on the driveway in the red chair,

The sun’s shadow creeps ever closer to my feet and

 

I realize there is nowhere else to go, nowhere to move to,

Nowhere else to be, but it’s alright, an ending of sorts, I guess.

 

I can leave my chair here, empty, on the driveway,

No one will notice, no one will come to move it.

 

I am no longer in anyone’s way.

All the Light of a Million Suns

 

His hands are weightless

His smile, eternal.

 

His eyes hold all the stars in the universe,

All the light of a million suns.

 

His energy charges every cell in my body and

His love powers and drives my nightly dreams.

 

When he speaks to me, his words feel like a warm soft blanket

Draped  with love over my shoulders.

 

His voice comes to me in the silence of meditation telling me to stop,

To let it all go.

 

He tells me that good will only come to me

After I throw out and reject the darkness.

 

He watches in silence and sadness as

I try but fail over and over…

 

He knows he can’t do it for me.

I know I can’t do it for myself.

 

 

An Introduction to Me

 

I have experienced an awakening into less,

An escape from more, and in such have found an introduction to me.

 

All else has faded away.  I now know that without my attention, it ceases to be.

I have observed its importance decrease as my peace has increased.

 

And now, now I check it all at the door as it is no longer needed,

As it no longer has any power over me.

 

And so the I am, the being that I am, the be all and end all, is still here as it was in the beginning.

Always the same, never to change, and always mine.

 

Truth and Freedom

It is within the stillness between my heart beats and

The silence between my breaths that I have found my truth and freedom.

It is subtle, unimposing, but

All-encompassing and the only truth there is.

It is the only truth that need be, and the only reality that is eternal.

The truth is evident in the radiance that shines from the sleeping faces of babies,

And the soft sunshine on a clear blue autumn day.

My heart and soul accept the divine gift that has been given to me and I know now,

Beyond a doubt, that my freedom is of me and from me and

Mine alone to believe.

Still Believing

She feels like an endangered species,

While she waits, still believing in love,

She hides beneath the ordinary

Remaining the one who is always overlooked.

The well of love she holds is full,

Free for giving, free to be taken, to be emptied with limitless refills.

Yet still she waits, wanting to hope, yet not daring to,

Trying hard not to expect, knowing it may never be.

Loving yet never loved,

Loving alone,

Yet still believing.

Because of Him

Gratitude for the smallest of things

Becomes gratitude for the eternal.

Because the eternal exists in even the smallest,

A baby’s laugh, a milkweed bloom, a crystal blue winter sky.

An autumn leaf, falls softly in silence,

Releasing its life with gratitude in a celebration of color.

It is the small things in my life that cover me in warmth and

Feed the fire of my gratitude with love.

I am thankful for sunrises and sunsets,

The defining moments of each day’s beginning and end.

I am grateful for my children and grandchildren –

All manifestations of God.

The life light in a newborn’s eye,

Holds the spirit of heaven and the knowledge of Krishna’s grace.

And when I am in danger of forgetting these things, I sit and go deep inside myself,

Inside to that point where I am connected directly to him and he brings me back to grace.

It is my gratefulness that fuels my passions for the loves in my life, from acorns to hummingbirds

Grasshoppers to lightning storms,

Soft kisses at midnight,

And sweet love in the morning.

I am grateful to exist in a flood of grace and love.

Grace that is endless and effortless, and love that is all encompassing.

My heart is full and soft and my smiles are because of him.

Hari Om

 

What Is

 

The sound of rain takes me to a place of inner peace as the

Rain falls in sheets and slides down the roof and over its edge in a curtain of water.

Tree leaves dance with the weight of the rain and

Flowers wash their faces in its freshness.

The sky is lower on rainy days and

Holds us close to the ground.

Sounds are muted and muffled and

Light is defused in grayness.

But it is not a sad and depressing grayness,

But soothing and peaceful,

Full of necessity.

A rainy day, soft and dark, begs us to stop, rest and be mindful of our surroundings and loves.

It reminds us to take the time to be lulled by the patter of rain on the windows

Into a place of inner stillness,

And there remain, content to just be and accept what is.

I Am Grateful

 

When anger leaves, disbelief fades

And my heart takes a deep breath and feels a new peace.

Inside I feel different, sad but different.

The shift in conscious that I have longed for has taken over my being.

I have learned through experience that I won’t die…

That this is not what will kill me and as a consequence I know 

I can accept that it will be what

It will be, or maybe not be at all… and that either way, it is ok.

Anger has left,

Disbelief has faded and, unexpectedly, peace has returned.

For this I am grateful. 

(this is a re-post from two years ago – with edits)

After All

 

It rolls out in waves from

One thought to another.

It remains as one heart flowing into the other

Then back again to me.

It travels by glowing starshine that lights its way

Through the darkest nights only to

Leave me at dawn as sunshine brings back the true sight,

Sound and taste of its love.

But as it leaves, its absence is not sad as the void left behind is open,

Open to every other possibility love can explore.

It becomes a love bigger than me in spite of its misplaced attention

And I see that it was meant for me, after all.