The Missing Piece

I am tired,

Tired of fighting me.


I have improved; I have found a way,

A good and honest way.


But the old ways and feelings

Die hard.


I don’t want to feel this anymore

I want it to go away – completely.


But I know it never will.

It can’t until I do, and even then…


It has become a part of me,

Not the me you see but


The me I know

And that me doesn’t know how to erase it completely.


There is no erase button,

No permanent “delete” option.


My Being accepts that fact and holds him close,

Not because of me, but in spite of me.


And some days when I am not even aware,

That I am thinking about him it breaks through again in silent, unbidden tears.


Are they for me?

Or him?


Are they for a way that should have been, could have been,

A way that needed to be but wasn’t?


I guess I will never know.

They say it doesn’t matter, it is no more,


It is not present in the now, only in the past.

But I think my Being forgot a little piece when it moved on,


And it is that little piece of me that still belongs to him that I miss.




14 thoughts on “The Missing Piece

  1. “They say it doesn’t matter…” Phooey! It is part of who you have been and are. In spite of some of my previous comments, I believe we are the products of our experiences. I also believe that when we love, we give away a piece of our heart with no intent of it ever returning. We just have to figure out how to go on without it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Deb, wish this would just leave me alone! enough already! don’t open that door! be strong, I know I would cave, don’t know if I ever would be strong enough to not answer the door but I really don’t have to worry about it, he has made it clear that he doesn’t care and never did so…. i don’t know if that helps me or makes it worse… whatever, hugs and love to you! M.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, your hugs are most appreciated! I don’t think there are any answers, i just have to wait until I find another piece in me to fill the void he has left, funny thing is, he doesn’t even know or more importantly care… oh well, I hope i choose more wisely next time, if there ever is a next time. Hugs back to you and thank you.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. That is a lovely thought and I hope you are right, I don’t like being un-whole…. thank you for reading my work and for your comments, you are a very talented writer and lovely person. your comments are very much appreciated! Michelle


  3. I was told that what we heal for ourselves we are doing for the whole planet… fixing the piece that only we are perfectly capable to heal. It doesn’t make the pain hurt any less, but at least it helps me feel there’s an important purpose. Sending light, Debra


    1. I never thought of it that way, you are right, I need to heal to be able to add my positive energy to this planet, the more positive energy the better! I had a yogi a few years ago who taught me a lot and now that you mention this I remember him saying that all his meditation and such did not change his life, his life still had pain but the more positive energy he produced, the better our world would be for everyone, makes sense. Thank you, maybe if I look at it as a service to our world to put this man and this sorrow behind me it will become easier, it is worth a try, for the sake of everyone else… thank you. Michelle


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