He doesn’t cry for me,
He cries for himself.
The magnitude of the pain he has caused
Makes him uncomfortable.
He can’t believe he is
Capable of such unkindness, it is not his way.
He is not a bad person,
Confused perhaps, but not bad.
He tries to love everyone and
In theory that is a great and noble way to live and so
His aura glows, his eyes speak kindness and
His soul shines through with good intentions.
I think he is capable of all the those good things, they are in his heart,
But he is also a man, just a man.
A man who has had to suffer the injustices of this society,
Who has had to endure heartache, broken dreams and all the other issues life has thrown at him.
He is not immune to pain or mistakes, and
It is unfair to expect him to be.
But being merely “human” does not give anyone license to
Hurt another human being, intentionally or not.
I don’t write these lines to hurt him,
To point out his faults – I have as many.
I write these lines for myself, to try and make sense of this heartbreak
This soul devouring sadness, but as hard as I try …
I cannot hate him; it would be easier if I could.
My love for him is too strong and fills my heart; there is no room there for hate.
But he already knows all of this, he knows what I think, what I feel, who I am
And somehow that makes this hurting worse, precisely because he did know all along…
So, did I expect too much of him? Expect him to be something he’s not, to live up to my standards? I don’t think so.
He is capable of being all that I envision him to be,
All that he wants to be and more,
And that is why I cry for us both.
heartwordsforpoetry 
This is what unconditional love is….we see their soul, we know they don’t have to be this person who is capable of such complete and utter devastation. I totally get this about Scott, but he chooses to live on the dark side. He didn’t even try to be the person I know he could be. So, I accept that’s where his level of consciousness is, but I also won’t invite it back into my life. It’s painful to watch, but we all have free will. To learn, to evolve, or to repeat the mistakes and thus the lessons. I can see clearly what was chosen by Scott. I am sorry, that you also have to watch someone you love fall into the abyss.
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Thanks… it is sad…
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You just hit my entire nerve with this..thats terrifying..
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Life is cruel at times and make one falls … But if one can manage to stand up and do goodness for their own soul, their heart would mend in its own time. Have faith …
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I have nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award. Here is my post if you choose to participate 🙂
http://gentlementalannie.com/2015/11/24/versatile-blogger-award/
Annie ❤
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Thank you so much, I am honored!!! I will check it out this weekend, busy time…
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Oh, I know this feeling. *Hugs*
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To accept and be accepted for who we really are is the ultimate love we can give to each other. Unconditional love, as I’m learning, is a powerful thing . hugs
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Here is a hug to you. Hope this helps with your healing.
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The first few stanzas actually described my mistakes some time ago, so I see this poem in a different way. Nice write 🙂
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Thank you for your comment, much appreciated. Michelle
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