Sunrise Lover

Sunrise lover from

Soft, warm darkness.

Light filters in at sunrise and

Rises from the floor and spreads to the ceiling.

As the room brightens, his form slowing comes into being,

Emerging from the rumpled pile of bedclothes.

Smooth, soft, dark and lovely.

I lie with him, my face resting against his.

In the half light I can just make out

His eyelashes, resting on his smooth cheek.

His noble nose is outlined by the

Light creeping in through the window.

His lips are beautiful and full,

Soft and sweet.

As the room continues to lighten,

His breathing quickens and his body stretches.

I move back just a bit

To take in his whole being.

He is strong, lean and beautiful

All I could ever want or need.

His eyes flutter open and his smile,

At seeing my face so close to his,

Is so beautiful and welcoming

As if to say he missed me while he slept.

4/3/15

I wrote this 10 months ago. It is one of my favorites as was he…

2 thoughts on “Sunrise Lover

  1. It’s lovely, but I have some suggestions that you are entirely free to reject:
    1. Trust your descriptions enough to remove lines like ‘ I lie with him, my face resting against his.’ a little ambiguity adds power and gives the reader the gift of doing some of the work. So long as you know, the reader will follow their own path.
    2. Use metaphor – it’s one thing to tell that someone is beautiful. Show it, you do regularly within this. Then, when you are showing actions, they have that much more weight to them.
    It’s a good blend of occidental and oriental styles here, you’re working on a voice that is yours, which is how it should be.

    Liked by 1 person

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