Why do I ask myself why?

It is the question I don’t want to ask

With the answers I don’t want to hear.

I give it all to you, all of me, nothing is withheld.

All is free and presented to you as the gift

I value it to be.

I hold it dear and close to my heart,

But you, you don’t see it the same way, because to you it is not personal.

Nothing is held close to your heart so

When I give it all and you take it happily, I feel good

About the giving but you just expect the getting.

I suppose it is my own fault, my fault in expecting you

To value it the way I do.

I lie with you and let you in to become part of my soul

Part of my very being and in my wishful thinking I see you as

Doing the same for me.  I feel a part of you, a part of your being.

But in reality I am not only because you don’t want me to be.

You give yourself freely and totally but in a physical sense only.

Your heart and soul are not present, not given to anyone.

So when you tell me of the others I see you as giving them that precious

Gift I give to you and your actions hurt me to my soul.

But I am wrong

You can‘t give away that which you do not have and when I remind myself of that fact,

 My hurt becomes for you and not because of you.