The clock ticks

The baby cries

Awakening

Tears of sorrow and loss,

Heartache – unbounded.

Love’s last breath,

The ending came too soon.

Emptiness and fear, again

I am never enough, never right.

Unanswered longings and

Soul hunger – devastating.

But …. a shift in perspective…

Shared pain has turn to love, not from him but

From others – unknown.

My tears of sorrow are softened

With tears of gentleness and belonging.

I would never have believed this depth of feeling

From a social media post.

Voices from a distance

Names unfamiliar,

But all with the same thoughts,

Same feelings, same love.

Advice from strangers, or so they are called,

But none of us can remain strangers in love, we are all one.

I asked, and they responded.

No thoughts of reward- egoless.

Just outpouring of soul love,

More than I ever thought possible.

Thank you for the grace,

Thank you for the kind words.

Proof to me, yet again, of a concept

I all too often seem to forget.

We are all connected – in pain and in joy

And although sometimes difficult, I am grateful for both, for one cannot exist without the other.

Dew kissed meadow.

Tree skeletons,

Silhouetted by fog.

Meadow’s undulating waves

Shrouded in mist.

Appearing and disappearing

A familiar landscape

Changed by drops of dew.

Woodland Brook

Tree Friends

True Friends

shadows of sadness

in remembering

4/14

Deep swallowing depth

Sprinkled with hope, promise of light.

Seeing into the past,

Lost in an illusion.

Depth you can taste,

Soul scouring, surrounding and heavy.

But light, always light.

All there is, yet nothing.

I love everyone and

No one, he said.

4/14

MC

This field, our place of wind and chi.

Big sky – distant mountains and

Wind, always the wind

Pushing the chi into our souls

Filling every cell of our bodies

With its energy.

But now… he is gone….

And I am here alone.

Silent soft sadness surrounds me and

When my body can hold no more

The sadness seeps from my fingertips and

The corners of my eyes

So I sit, just sit with

My hands and feet in the grass,

My head in the clouds and

My heart in his hands

This place is a crack in the veil

Between the worlds

Where the bodhicitta flows.

The Earth’s life force swirls like smoke around my feet

And echoes in the bird song

That fills the space between the trees.

Light is filtered in ever changing

Dappled patters and the wind ripples

The grasses in waves that travel through this wind-chi place.

It is here, and only here

That I feel him beside me –

His essence lingers in this thin place.

I can hear his voice on the wind,

See his smile in the bird song and feel

His love in the sweet softness of the grass and

Whispers of the mist.

Time moves slowly and

each moment osculates freely here

Where forever is cradled in the

Bloom of the milkweed.

Sita & Ram

Radha & Kirshna

Shiva & Parvati

Examples for the heart.

But this end, our end,

It seems like such a waste of love,

But is it, is giving love ever a waste?

Can it be?

Human love, physical and spiritual, is

What love is meant to be.

The length of time or

The time of knowing doesn’t matter.

It is the recognition of the other half

That fuels the fire, the recognition is instant.

Soul and body love

The essence of humanity.

To connect together to that scared space,

That one deep inside.

The silence and stillness of beauty and grace

One love, two hearts beating as one

In honor of the divine creator.

Divine love in its purest manifestation,

It is the energy that fuels creation.

Such a rare gift to find.

To be nurtured and held close in the heart and soul

And what if he leaves, walks away

What if that love is returned unwanted?

What then, indeed, what then…

A rejection of the very essence of me

So hard, so cold, so unnecessary

Intentional neglect,

In the name of love.

Close your heart,

Pretend it doesn’t matter.

How long, how long

Until the hardness takes over completely, not soon enough.

I’ll speak the lies, for his sake.

I’ll destroy my truth to make it easier for him.

I’ll let the pain win, that at least is honest and mine to own.

It is safe with me. He won’t take it back.

Intentional neglect,

In the name of love.

How can someone tell me

They are not the only one for me?

The only one I could love?

How does he know, he is not me.

I can’t replace one with another.

But I guess he can, maybe therein lies the problem.

No one is special, we are all interchangeable,

After all, he loves us all the same…

I have to try to stop making sense out of it all

Because there is none.

How does love end, and when it does,

Where does it go?

They all tell me, if you wait long enough, it will fade and take the pain with it.

Does inaction bring detachment or just an accepted denial of the truth?

It is sad to think that out of sight can mean out of heart.

Will I feel it when it goes, will he?

The thought of it going brings a sadness that overwhelms my soul.

Were all those soft moments in candlelight and warmth

A lie? I think not.

The duality of love, there is nothing better,

And nothing worse.

2/5/15

MC

The poetry of my heart

Follows the song of my soul.

The heartache drowns me as

The sorrow completes me.

I must hold it close,

Protect it from those who would cheapen it.

From those who don’t believe

It could have been.

It should have been.

2/2/15