What is different,

This time from the last?

Same hearts and souls.

Same bodies and minds.

But different intentions,

A shift in perspective, mine.

Needs are the same,

Wants the same too.

But the same love?

Perhaps not.

I am afraid to ask,

I don’t want to know.

The answer may

Destroy my illusions.

But this time there is no one to blame but me

As I am the only one who loves.

My heart and soul will have to survive with

Only as much as he freely gives, without question.

It was my choice,

My decision to make and I have made it.

My mind becomes good at hiding from itself and

Seeing only what it wants to believe.

A kind of sad resignation

Of what is and an acceptance

That this is all it will be.

Stolen moments when the world stands still.

When my heart joins with his and for those few hours

We are all that exist, all that matters.

And in that moment,

As he cradles my body and heart in his arms,

His eyes see through me to my soul

And he knows and understands.

Our connection is complete and

Nothing is more beautiful or more right.

But in the end, the morning always comes again and

With bad coffee and breakfast pie, he is gone.

The longing and loving and wanting begins anew

As if it had never been fulfilled.

Until the next time,

When the world stands still, again.