This Time

What is different,

This time from the last?

Same hearts and souls.

Same bodies and minds.

But different intentions,

A shift in perspective, mine.

Needs are the same,

Wants the same too.

But the same love?

Perhaps not.

I am afraid to ask,

I don’t want to know.

The answer may

Destroy my illusions.

But this time there is no one to blame but me

As I am the only one who loves.

My heart and soul will have to survive with

Only as much as he freely gives, without question.

It was my choice,

My decision to make and I have made it.

My mind becomes good at hiding from itself and

Seeing only what it wants to believe.

A kind of sad resignation

Of what is and an acceptance

That this is all it will be.

Stolen moments when the world stands still.

When my heart joins with his and for those few hours

We are all that exist, all that matters.

And in that moment,

As he cradles my body and heart in his arms,

His eyes see through me to my soul

And he knows and understands.

Our connection is complete and

Nothing is more beautiful or more right.

But in the end, the morning always comes again and

With bad coffee and breakfast pie, he is gone.

The longing and loving and wanting begins anew

As if it had never been fulfilled.

Until the next time,

When the world stands still, again.

3/29/15

MC

21 thoughts on “This Time

  1. This really tears at my heart. Are you caring for yourself as you know you should? I’ve been where you are, and when I was there, it was not at all productive, creative or healthy. Maybe it’s different for you. I hope so.

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      1. wow! this is great don’t you know how happy I am right now as if my heart will burst at last I’ve found you …my soul sister. much love and light . Take care now you’re not hiding.

        Like

      2. can we send private message on this blog stuff? I’d like to send you my regular email address so we can get to know each other better but don’t want to make it all public… I am very glad we have found each other too!!!! One can never have to many soul sisters!! love to you. 🙂

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      3. I’ll send you my email address right after you respond to this message so I know you are still online and right after you get it, delete it so it doesn’t stay on you page, ok?

        Liked by 1 person

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