I hear the rain in the early morning darkness,
It’s sound muffled by the closed windows and leaf blanketed forest floor.
But its soft sound is enough to keep me awake,
Awake and day dreaming of happier times.
Of times when the sound of the rain brought sweet contentment and thankfulness
For its life giving qualities to my mind.
A time when it was summer’s refreshment,
And the garden sang in gratitude for its warm sweetness.
But now, as I sit here on my bed at 2:00 am, alone in this November darkness,
The droning on the roof only serves to remind me of our separateness,
Our aloneness and isolation, one from the other,
With the sound of the rain our only connection.
This simple connecting sound brings me to thoughts of him and
I picture him in his room,
Lying beneath his white down comforter,
While the rain drops roll in rivers down his bedroom windows.
The rain’s sound is amplified by the sloping eves of his bedroom ceiling where the soft flicker of candle light dances.
The memory of the warmth of his body lying next to mine takes my breath away.
I can feel his long lean limbs, light but strong, wrapped around me in complete trust
As together we sleep as one, our separateness abandoned and replaced by a union of warmth, safety and love.
But slowly my day dream fades and reality comes seeping back to me in my empty bed and
The sound of the rain outside my window becomes the sound of my tears.
Although the scene in my mind fades away into the darkness of this November night,
My thoughts stay with him.
And as I try once again to lose myself in the healing peace of sleep
I become aware of the missing sound of my heart beating in my chest.
It seems my heart has left me and has chosen instead to stay behind in my day dream with him.
But I don’t feel betrayed or upset with its abandonment for
I cannot blame it for wising to remain in the sweet memory of candlelight, soft love and raindrops, I understand – it is my wish as well.